UC ABC

This made me realize how much I really do care about you. I feel annoyed, irritated, indifferent because I didn't get to say bye and I'm sitting here almost on the verge of tears because I miss him already. Man idfk why I love this dude....

I can't stand waiting here. I just wanna go home and write, sleep, so I can not think and just forget. But even then, sometimes I can't forget. I just wanna be alone in my room, so I can just be, so I don't have to hear about everyone else and their conversations. I wanna silence my surroundings and just wake up to the calmness of my mind.

I don't think it was a good idea for me to have seen him cuz I keep thinking about it, about him, and I really REALLY want to cry but I can't because I'm surrounded by people laughing, not feeling how I'm feeling at the moment.

Now all I have left are these cookies and these fruit snacks that will forever remind me of the innerchild that I love about him. It will forever remind me of him.

I keep looking back behind me, to the rows of seats that is allocated for his school delegation, hoping to see his face in the crowd, and every time I look back, he's not there. And then I look at the grocery bag in front of me, and there he is...but all it is are just memories.

The same memories that remind me of what cannot be, because he's in love with someone who is not me.

I'm happy for you. Trust me, I really am because I just want you to be happy, and you look like you are with her but I can't help but feel this jealousy. I can't help but be envious of her because you have her heart and she has yours. She has that 'thing' that was missing. And it hurts because up to this day, I constantly worry about you and to this day, I still love you.

My heart heaves at the emotion that your stigma carries.

"Maybe I, maybe I, maybe I should've loved you so much more cause my heart don't wanna let go..."