Saturday, January 9, 2010

RANDOM things I found


love

1 : strong affection 2 : warm attachment
1 : CHERISH 2 : to feel a passion, devotion, or tenderness for

"To be sensual, I think, is to respect and rejoice in the force of life, of life itself, and to be present in all that one does, from the effort of loving to the making of bread." (James ARThur Baldwin).

You magnify my happiness
When I am feeling glad;
You help to heal my injured heart
Whenever I am sad.
You’re such a pleasure in my life;
I hope that you can see
How meaningful your friendship is;
You’re a total joy to me.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

If I ruled the world...




I wish certain people had personal blogs. You know, the type of blog that spoke of what they truly and deeply felt & thought...the kinda blog that literally lays their heart out onto a sheet of paper, well in this case, an online page.


I wanna learn more about certain people...their desires, their aspirations, their motivations, their true self. The self that is detached from sugar coating bull that appears and is seen by the general public.


The kind of thing I'd know about if I were to open up their hearts and their brains. The kind of things that no one else knows. The kind of truth only they know.


Idk, I'm just rambling, but if it were up to me, I'd make it so that nobody has to hide their true thoughts because of fear of rejection and isolation. Whoever can expose that to me, will get the same back from me, and frankly...







But that's just me. I'm just saying though...





Distinguished.




I'm selfish.
I want people to put me first.
I want people to look out for me.
I want people to be there for me.
I want people to care about me and love me.
I want people to never leave my side.



But I don't even put myself first.
I don't even look out for me.
I care and love myself.
But sometimes, I leave my side to help another.




So how am I gonna expect all that from people?
It's impossible.
I need to work on myself.
I'm selfish.
I wish I wasn't.
I can't afford to be.




I'm hurting.



Wednesday, January 6, 2010

I miss my friend.


Second chances are hard to come by. Third chances are even harder to get. I got both. Not necessarily the same chance as the first, but friendship was good for me. Now I realize how much it means to me to have that. I miss my friend.

All of a sudden, something struck me, and saw something else there [again] maybe after what I already knew my friend had for me.


Thank you.

I appreciate you.

I love you.


- please come back -


I wanna do more...


I don't sing anymore. & to be honest, I miss it. I miss singing on stage. I miss singing to someone. & if I could, I'd sing all day, everyday, just cuz it's fun.

So today I decided to sing a lil. I was inspired to. So here I go, singing to whoever would like to listen :)




After however many hours...it has FINALLY uploaded.



[DISCLAIMER: That's what happens when I get bored, waiting to go to Biology lecture.]



Monday, January 4, 2010

First day of WINTER...quarter



+

[808's & Heartbreak]

=

Enough said.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Quotes.














"There is nothing in the world so wonderful as to love and be loved; there is nothing so devastating as love lost." (Oscar Wilde)




[All courtesy of http://beautyinthehood.tumblr.com/ check her blog out!]



Friday, January 1, 2010

Kissing '09 Goodbye


Dear 2009,

You have truly been a blessing in disguise. I didn't expect much from you to be honest, but there you were, filling my days with something new to look forward to.

I have to admit though, out of the 19 precious years I've lived, I don't think any other years before you can match the intensity of the ride you have brought. I mean, I've never been so emotional in my life. I shed and cried so many tears, whether outta anger, sadness, or joy...and that's another thing, I have never cried out of joy like I did with you. I was in a whirlwind of emotions and moods with you, and for that I really thank you.

I also had so many "firsts" with you. First time experiencing physical and emotional changes. First time I admitted to feeling a certain way about a person. First time being involved for longer than a few months with a person. First time I opened up my heart and my mind, especially to my parents. Most importantly, first time truly learning about myself and who I am.

In your year, I cannot end this letter without including one of the most involved people in my life. I didn't expect him to be so heavily involved in how you (2009) shaped up to be, but he was. I know that some people have gotten upset over it, and they may get upset over this again but I had to do things for my own. I had to make my own decisions for myself, and I apologize if it hurt anybody but I am not sorry I made them. The thing is, I also cannot deny how much of an influence he had been, and I'm strong enough to say that I don't regret anything that has happened between him and I. Heck, I can write an entire letter just about it, but the main thing I'd like to address is that I am very grateful for all the experiences and for getting to know you. Because with it came the blessing of getting to know my strength and my faith. So to whom it may concern, thank you.

You taught me that I can be strong enough to handle the situations I have been given, and that I can and did learn from the mistakes and experiences I went through. You showed me my own capabilities and my own gifts, and for that I am most grateful. Now, I can truly say that I am ready, and I couldn't have done it without your lessons.

To 2009, thank you for being such a great year, goodbye to you...





Dear 2010,

I know everyone is asking you to please be good to them, but I ask that you please be extra cautious with me. I know what I want and I need and I just pray for some assistance so that I do not let anyone or anything hinder me from accomplishing what I need for myself, and for my happiness.

I'm ready. I'm ready for love, I'm ready for change.

I have this great feeling that you truly will be the Year of the Lover. I feel that you will bring me all the love I want and need for the coming seasons under your influence, and I thank you in advance.

I do not ask that you please not break my heart, but I ask that you may be gentle and kind enough to help my heart heal and mend if ever it gets tampered with, because I know my heart can never be broken. It can simply just be dented, but it will always be restored back to its natural being, stronger than before, in case it gets dented once again.

I look forward to the many wonderful things you have in stored, and for whatever surprises you may bring, I'm ready and cannot be more excited to face another year of growth and wonder.



With love,
Julieanne Aquino




Puzzle Piece


When I say I'm a puzzle, I truly mean that I am.
Not like others who say,
"No one gets me"
When I say I'm a puzzle,
I truly mean that there is not one being who can fully comprehend my being, except for God.

I don't do so well explaining myself and I wish I didn't have to.
I don't do so well speaking for myself, I wish I was better.
But this blog has been a source of truth.
A clue, if you will
That will bring you closer to figuring me out,
If you dare,
If you care enough.

If you wanna know about me,
Read about me.
Cuz I know one thing is forsure,
You won't see what's really me
Just by looking and gazing at me.
Not even if you converse with me.
Cuz my thoughts, they don't spill through my mouth,
They spill through this ink,
Through this utmost and complex of syntax.

My question is,
R u e ?

Hello 2010!


Happy New Year to everyone! I feel great things coming year. I'm blogging while I wait to eat the annual steak and shrimp midnight meal to be finished that my mom, my sister, and myself prepared!

So for next year, I sincerely feel like it will be the year of LOVE for some reason...at least for me personally. I have a few New Year's Resolutions!

1. No more "What If" moments.
2. No more being timid about speaking up.
3. Learn to work out problems with the person involved without talking about issues to anyone else who isn't directly involved in the situation.
4. Be more money-conscious.
5. Do not force things on anyone or anything.


Might add some more later on...but those are the main five at the moment.


This past 2009 had been one heck of a learning experience. SO much has happened within this short span of time and it's safe to say that I don't regret anything I went through but I will say that I surprised by myself this past year. Here's a mini re-call...


JANUARY:
- The Pack concert on campus
- A black president was elected
- A new person was erected

FEBRUARY:
-No Valentine
- "Chris Brown" came in the picture
- 12 shots in <>

MARCH:
- San Diego Zoo!
- Two poems
- Something started blossoming
- No more punkass though

APRIL:
- First time I cried tears of joy & blushed! :)
-Brownies!
- Happy 4/20
- "That's why I like you"

MAY:
- UC ABC!
- First kiss :)
- Shot guns in the bathroom
- Sun God!

JUNE:
- Laker victory
- Unexpected LA visit
- First backseat in Pasadena! :)
- The Hangover with hands :)

JULY:
- My Birthday!
- Roscoe's!
- First time I got my "present" and surprisingly I liked it :)

AUGUST:
- Read a book that changed everything!
- LA Roadtrip with Michael

SEPTEMBER:
- College Football in the Rose Bowl
- PF Chang's in 'Dena
- First time in the shower at LAX Hotel :)
- Facial surprise!
- Started school

OCTOBER:
- Came across an "Eccentric Soul"
- Biggest present goes to [ill.]
- Scorpio bash!
- Halloween in LA

NOVEMBER:
- SOCC at UCSD
- Let's get cleaned! :)
- Kwanzaa

DECEMBER:
- My bestie is back!
- First time in Korea town :)
- Christmas revelations
- New MacBook Pro