Discovery

If you go to sleep without any anger, sadness, or negativity in your mind, I find that a smile just automatically appears, just as if angels were watching over me to sleep peacefully. The smile just carries on throughout the day, and before you know it, your life is already brighter. :)

"Stop trying to run away from your problems and fears. Dare to be fearless and tackle just what it is that is keeping you from succeeding. There are far more people who are troubled in more ways than you are. If it is failing or rejection you are scared of, then you are a coward and do nor even deserve to taste success, because as much as failing and getting rejected hurts, it makes succeeding all the more delicious and refreshing."

So, after a few days of simply feeling unmotivated, I finally wake up feeling so good about myself and everything around me! I think it may be the 5-hour nap I took last night, or possibly the 2-hour sleep I got this early morning...but whatever it may be, I'm glad my phase of being not driven is over with. Today was so great that I was walking with a huge smile to a meeting I didn't even want to attend in the first place. Things only got better because I had dinner at El Torito's after I got 'Chris Brown'd' LMFAO! Oh and btw, E and I are finally on the same hype at the same time :)

HANGOVER! =/

Last night was probably the WORST NIGHT EVER!

11 shots in 1 hour = death!

So never again...at least not in one measly hour!

Bitches keep running their mouths like they're so innocent and shit! Dudes acting like bitches and run their mouths despite the fact that there were pacts made! WTF is up with that?!

Idk who to trust anymore, besides the given: immediate family, Elize, Angel, and a handful of others, yall know who yall are. Thanks for having my back and keeping my trust :)

Lemme just 'sientate' and go M.I.A [hiatus] if you will, according to E! Calm things down and focus on the more important things in life.

***BLESSED! At least they make me smile! :) Dad & Lance, you two as well!

P.S. Try to break me, and these bonds...I DARE YOU!

New Favorite

Ate at Red Robin and got a mushroom burger with steak fries and peach iced tea! :) YUM!

Finally played beer pong! :) First time at a kickback without E and I lost, but it was still fun.

Then, I got to watch the infamous Fight Club, and what do you know...i LOOOOVED it! :)

I love movies that have complex and unpredictable plots, ones that make you use your noggin and think!

Then Roberto's, back to the cutty-chasin man! LMFAO! Thank you for my food despite your 'accomplice' stories Adrian!

Let's call it a night...CNN time! Hello T.J. Holmes [attractive Black news anchor]!!!

***SATISFIED! let this energy stay up there! :)

PERFCT DAY!

Soooo, I wake up because of a phone call from my bestie :)

She triggered this almost perfect day because she hooked me up with a captain morgan handle.

Then went to discussion, got back and got a "parcel notification" email and got my online purchases! :)

Then class again. Got complimented by my TA about how I smell good, but I wasn't even wearing perfume...meaning I just smell good naturally! LMAO. Then Ralph's, got bronzer. Then got some cute ass Steve Madden pumps for $15 [yes hate on that!] MWAHAHAHA!

Get ready. State for coming out show for Sigma Lambda Gamma. Jack in the Box churros and cali burrito. GOTCHA SUCKAH jp! Kickback. Drunken asian girls are funny! Got to drive Adrian's car. I hate backin up.

'That shit took like 10 minutes!' LMAO!

End of the day...beginning of the weekend :)

***REFRESHING! :)

EGO BOOST

Shopping in the rain, blown, on Friday at Horton Plaza. In & Out. SDSU dorms. Wack ass Asian party.

So absolutely no Valentine on Saturday night. Me and E were eating at BK and this Asian couple was sharing one fckin ice cream cone...like WTF! Anywhoo, so I get this random call from an old 'friend' persay...saying he's coming back to San Diego permanently [EGO BOOST #1] . LMAO!

"WHY AM I IN CLEVELAND?! So you know ima tear that ass up right?!"

So then we walk back to my room after we fuck with E's piece...then a text from Mister Bowling Alley! [EGO BOOST #2] LOL. Watched Collateral. Talked & made fun of the homo-ness of Real World. MWAHAHA!

Shopping on Sunday. Purple chucks and gray jeans...sorry E. HOME. Told wiifey about inagauration day, FINALLY! :) 

Tuesday workouts.

"So I figured I might as well go see Julieanne =)"

Kicked it. Long conversation almost two hours. [EGO BOOST #3] Then, I find out that the lil punkass...can't even call him 'my lil punkass' anymore was in SD for a week! WTF, without telling me even when I said I missed him. GRRRR!

***PENSIVE...if it comes, it comes :)

P.S. On that 'fuck it' and F.O.D. {go figure}

He-larry-us!

This kid made my fuckin day! Mannn, he looked and sounded drunk/high/cross-faded! But it's the damn anesthesia :) AHHHHH poor lil white boy. Bad for him but definitely good for me :)

I didn't have to do my speech today...YIPPEEEE for that! And I found out I don't have strep throat so another YIPPEEEE for that! My ninja from SB is in town so we bowt to kick it after she hits me up. AND today definitely feels like a damn friday! IDK it just does...anywhoo, im out for some ice cream cone...vanilla brownie with caramel here I come! :)





***BETTER!...but still fuck Valentine's Day mwahaha

Wisdom

definitely does not come PAIN-FREE! This muhfucken wisdom tooth hurts like a bitch!

So, I got the cough thang, a headache, backache, toothache, and to top it all off...I'm on the fucken rag! UGHHHHH! Ooouuuu this weekend is gonna definitely NOT gonna be fun! 

I hope I don't have to do my speech tomorrow, cuz I'm not in the best condition! This shit is terrible...YES, all BAD! :'(

Watch this video though...it made my day! Stupid funny LMAO!

***PAINFUL!...come kiss it away! ;)

DAMN it's been...

a week!!! Anywhoo here's the recap:

THURSDAY- Kicked it with the four brothers after we got Wings & Things and Quiznos. Then chilled. Then went to the other house in Mira Mesa and chilled some more. Then Roberto's california burrito with extra sour cream & guacamole and a churro! :)

FRIDAY- OMFG theeee longest effin day ever! Snapple crackin and clothes mudded. Then kicked it with the cutie patooties LMAO sikeeee! Chilled. Asian groupies. Alone in the laundry room. Back to my room. Slept on the floor. No cutty =/

SATURDAY- Rain for the 3rd day in a row! Up at 7:30 am...thanks Justin like damn! LMAO. Bye J&W. Party by state for Adel. Chilled. Black&Mild. DRANK!!! Try some Captain with cranberry juice and sprite :) Dancing. Karaoke. Back to UCSD.

[Total sleep in those three days: about 10 to 11 hours]

SUNDAY- Home. Church. Shopping. Lakers win! :)

YESTERDAY- the worst day ever!!! I've never felt so annoyed/irritated...it was definitely a crash! =( 

Things are better now. But fuck this freezing up infront while I try to speak!!! Need a car. Need new squeezes! Where yall at!

***EHHHHH!...it could be wayyy better! =/

It's finally begun!

Today's agenda:

Class.

Shogun food.

Power nap.

WORK OUT: run laps, abs, lunges, biceps, squats

Room cleaning!

American Gangster (:

So I think motivation has finally kicked in. I'm feeling good about myself which then leads to everything falling in place! That's enough said for now :)

*****Hope-Love-Faith*****

***CLEANSED!...OPTIMISM try it! ;)

AHHHH-mazingly Unexpected!

So I started reading for ethnic studies and I found myself in a dilemma of not wanting to stop, but at the same time, feeling like throwing the book on the floor because it made me angry as I was reading,

because "white" people keep taking everything away from people whom they consider inferior

and lying to them saying, oh yes we'll give you this and that, but later on, they just simply take those things away!

GRRRR!

Anywhoo, I actually worked out today! :) Everybody should be proud of me...AND I actually didn't eat like I normally do [obesity is gone for now] However, I am feeling a little sick, but I'm just gonna sleep it off.

OHHHH, and you know what? Those 'boy issues' I've been having on my mind lately simply flew away from my thoughts completely today! AHHHHH-mazing, isn't it?

Welp, I'm off to sleep. I know how early since it's only 10:39 pm and I usually go to bed at 2 am ish, but today has just been filled with unusual things...so CIAO! :)

***MOTIVATED!...finally! hello six-pack?! (:

Boys vs. Girls

Another revelation was revealed tonight, while E and I were watching 'Final Destination 3'. So it turns out that girls are like dudes and dudes can be like girls too. There may be that one main person a guy or a girl will have in mind, but despite that, he or she will still have other squeezes on the side until they officially get together with their main boothang. Take me for example. There is someone I have in mind, and for some crazy reason, I would consider him my main man...BUT I still kick it with other attractive dudes who I could potentially be interested in, and vice versa.

See, I can't even blame dudes for not fully committing to one girl unless she's his official girl because I actually feel like a dude right now, as this is phase in my life occurs. It's so much easier to understand how guys deal with these situations if you just put yourself in their shoes and if you're actually experiencing the same issues, feeling, and thoughts. It's funny because I used to say that I wasn't a jealous person, but because of all these things I've come to realize...with the help of Elize of course...I can actually admit that I am a jealous person but I don't wanna be known as a jealous person so I would tell people that I'm not. I really am though, in good reasoning. I just hope that no pain is involved, but that would be quite foolish of me to say that, because either way way, there will be some kind of hurt from one side...BUT at that particular moment, it felt right and good, so no finger can really be pointed to anyone.

***SOMEWHAT CLEARED UP...let's keep these going now (:

It's Superbowl Sunday

...yet I'm stuck in my dorm room, having to write a paper on racism and a midterm for Ethnic Studies. I'm not able to go home today like I usually would on a normal Sunday morning, so I won't be rejuvenated for the week to come. BIG freaking SIGH! 

Man, I'm not in the best mood right now. I feel quite contemplative and lowkey sad damn it! Fuck, maybe it's because I'm not in my usual Sunday routine...or maybe it's because of the thoughts and such that all came rushing in last night...

***IDK...i just really don't know =/

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own

understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He

shall direct your paths.

- Proverbs 3:5,6

Just some thoughts...

So last night, as much as I didn't know what to expect, turned out to be chill and pretty fun! (:

'I'm fcken fadedddd!'

ROFL!

And tonight, which was expected to be fun, wasn't as fun =/ At least I got to see my friends.

Now, I'm thinking about this subject that's been on my head for the past few days. I've been 'feenin' and thinking I'm just craving...but tonight, it's different. I miss my lil punkass, but it made me happy and smile to hear my lil bighead on the phone. Hmm, I'm quite perplexed about all this.

Are there real feelings and digging involved with this or is it just physical?

This night just had alot of different emotions involved: anger, disappointment, anxiety, joy. 

But in the end, it's all just part of life...you gotta take the bad with the good and move on from there, maybe even stronger than when you started. (:

***CONFUSED =/