So You Can Cry

Sometimes, we make choices thinking that it is what's best for us at that moment in time. We hope we make the right ones, especially when we sacrifice something else because of the decisions we make. And when we realize we did make the right decision, all becomes well.

But what happens when we realize that we made the wrong choice? That we made the wrong decision? That we made the wrong sacrifice?

Now, I'm not the type of person who likes to regrets her decisions, however, there are times when I get to thinking about my situations, and sometimes I think to myself about how I should have made the other choice...maybe it would have been a better choice.

But then again, it's better to look at wrong decisions as lessons learned instead of mistakes because like I said, it seemed like the right choice at the time, and we felt like it was the better choice.

As a result of my choices, my heart is heavy. Heavier than it has ever been, and I don't know how to lighten it without letting myself cry before I move forward. To me, I'd rather give myself some time to feel the weight of my heart than to prematurely move on and find that I still hold some hurt inside me.

I can't do that to myself anymore. I can't blame myself by comparing myself to the next person because I can only be me and I have no other way of living and being. But I can let myself get through this consequence so that I can come back stronger and better than how I was left.

There's so much to say and so many questions to ask but I have to remind myself that I cannot always get what I want. I have to sacrifice something in order to get to where I want to be, and this pain is only temporary.

I'll ask the sun to shine away from me today so I can cry. That's why I'm kinda glad its raining so it can cover my tears when they start falling.

Still thankful though, because there definitely have been lessons learned and I can't complain because I made them. I made the choices and I have to stick to them and the consequences they bring. Plus, crying is release, it's good for me, better than holding them back at least.

So to my tears, don't you worry, you just keep coming until you're ready to stop. Until you're tired and ready to let my smiles start coming back again.