Wednesday, June 30, 2010

My [LIFE] as I knew it

I haven't written anything in a while. I really don't know the reason why...but the other night, I had a dream that I had the same problem and in the dream, it was really troubling me. But the only thing different, is that in the dream, I actually started writing. And it was something awesome and meaningful...something I've never written before. Like a different type and structure of writing with a rhythm. Not rap, but rhythm. I woke up from the dream and was really disappointed to realize that it was nothing but a dream.

Still haven't written anything. So I thought I'd revisit you, and see if anything can come out of me, before I completely forget. My plans of revisiting didn't work. I still haven't written anything...meaningful, of I used to. I still can't remember what I wanted to say and how I feel. As if I didn't write anything at all. Maybe that's why. I'm typing, not writing.

Even my journal is a box along with my useless, unnecessary books that I hated reading but loved possessing because I felt smarter and more important having them there. It's just taking up space but the pages are left untouched and unmarked by the ink that would dry up because of how much I wrote on my journal with my sloppy-thinking-outlloud-gotta-write-this-down-idea-so-I-don't-give-a-flying-fuck-if-it's-sloppy handwriting. SO far from my typical "nice" writing.

I miss writing. It was my release. It helped me cope. It helped me vent. It helped me breathe through times of trouble. Now I don't know what to do. I don't even have writing anymore. It almost feels like I don't have anything anymore.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Female Intuition

This past weekend was "Mujer Monologues" which is a show that showcases a few women and their personal pieces that talk about their experiences. It also for the empowerment of women through means of art and creative expression. I definitely appreciate the space this show created, not only through the actual show times themselves, but through the entire process of writing and rehearsing, as well as being able to converse with the other women and feed off their energies. I wrote and performed one of my own, but here is video of a piece I was in that my homegirl Diana wrote. ENJOY!