Tell me why

the muthafuckah somehow keeps coming up in everyday conversations unexpectedly from the most random people? My bff is right when he said:

"Dude for the rest of your life...whether you like it or not, you will be hearing about him even when you're married. Ima buy you his jersey when he is in the NBA making millions."

Anywhoo, it kinda makes me wonder if I shoulda stuck with that muthafuckah, but nahhhh I'm too smart and too good to put myself through that bullshieeeet! It's all gravy! (:

But yeah, today was pretty coo. Me and E finally found a 'spot' and we met some Black guy who was tryna get some buddha and prolly some booty as well cuz he had asked if we was sisters and if we had boyfriends like WTF? LMAO...I guess me and E do hang out wayyy too much cuz people are now thinking that we look alike! LMAO! But yeah, so for tonight, her and I have 'boyfriends' MWAHAHAH!
Now, I'm just waiting for E to get ready and that's why I'm on her computer, cuz we about to dipset! :)






***CHILLEN...well, I guess shit just happens unexpectedly

I got this DICK for you...

...are you a FREAK?! LMFAO! Just you wait & watch this shieeet! :)

So besides that video and that phrase, today was 

COMPLETELY & UTTERLY burnt! UGHHH! The worst day ever!

People really just needa either sit back and calm the fuck down, or they can approach and confront me if they are bothered that much.

Like WTF?! Stupid ass drama that is sooo unnecessary! Whatever...ima still do me :)

&& btw, Elize! You are funny sometimes gurrrooo!

"soooo that's never gonna happen

my coochie's gonna hafta fall off before i reach that point"

***PISSED!...yet I'm still a BAUCE for handling my shit

P.S. Last night was jokesss! Literally was laughing on the inside with Wade's stooopid ass 'high' face

and his dance moves to 'dmmm, dmmm, dmmm, dmmm'

and Dee's dance contribution,

and Ace's voice over and Arsenio for showing them that video.

CBS Early Show

Who knew that waking up super early and watching CBS at 8 am can be soooo damn informative?

I sureee didnt! But good thang my daddy-o woke me up early to bring me some yummy baked macaroni :)

FIRST IDEA: The OBESITY bug. New Study: You can catch it like the common cold....WTF??!

SECOND IDEA: According to Steve Harvey's new book, a man only wants and needs three things...LOYALTY, LOVE, & COOKIES. [btw, 'cookies' is a euphemism for S-E-X! && it comes in different flavors!]

LMAOOOO!

Anyways, I woke up to a wonderful sunny day with a bright attitude (:

***VIBRANT!...cookies anyone? LMFAO

Can't believe I almost forget to speak on this...

...but i sincerely believe that I should write a book! Not today, but the past two days ago/sessions, I have been teaming up with this beeeeitch, E, and together, we have formulated what I like to call 'Lessons of the Day'.

FIRST LESSON aka CODE IMPORTANT [01/23/09]

"You don't have to hit up and initiate the conversation with a dude. Wait for him to hit you up first, and as long as you let him know you're interested, he'll hit you up first."

SECOND LESSON aka NO THIRSTY-NESS [01/24/09]

"Don't think that the other person is being inconsiderate because more times than not, they believe they are being VERY considerate of your position and the situation. If anything, you react much more strongly, pulling either on the negative or positive side, depending and based on your emotions. A person reacts more selfishly when angry, despite the other person's effort to sympathize and be caring & considerate."

We didn't come up with a 'Lesson' for today, but here's a mini one...

To be bold is to be beautiful. Do not hold yourself back; let your thoughts and feelings be heard, and let your true self be revealed.

***REFRESHED...all it took was them 'peaches' (:

WTF?!

Okayyyy! So I saw this shit and was like WTF? Check it out!

P.S.Dangggg so today was a long day...Got up at 7:30 AM and walked back to my dorm from sleeping over E's room.Took a quick ass shower, then got picked up by the parentals to go home for the day. Ate breakfast, took a nap, then went to church. Shopping. :) Laker game. [they won!] Henry's. Pick up brother at G-ma's.

I love my grandma...she's such a G! :) Like real talk, it's like she's psychic foreal. Nahhh she's just good at judging character and read movements & reactions well. She made me cry but because of joy! 

***ENLIGHTENED...

P.S.S. I was feeling super bold today, so I hit him up...no pun intended. LMAO! 

Back to feeling good? Yes, at least for today I am :)

so anxious...

DAMN! Genuwine got it right on point with that song mayneee! So today was just like any other Thursday....ha! Except not! If it were any other Thursday night, I wouldn't been FEENING or be bored at all. Yes, for the first time since I got back to school, I was bored!

AND!!!!!!

Get this: I got a super random, unexpected IM from the muthafuckah...

Him: So wat happen wen you got a ________?

ME: you're good

THEN AUTO-REPLY saying something like [I'm wifed up....etc.]

ME: nothing to worry about

Him: Kk

Him: Kk

ME: yepp

ME: so take care and have a nice life

Him: KK u 2

ME: will do

-----The End-----

How weird was that? I'm not even mad anymore. Like seriously, I forgave him a LONG time ago...so I've moved on with my life. && it is DEFINITELY BETTER that way :)

***PENSIVE...shieeet son!

P.S. Today was not quite what I expected. I hope for better days...like tomorrow and the rest of the weekend :)

new squeeze?

...just a maybe. Well let's not get too juiced folks! [no pun intended]  MWAHAHA! Just some harmless fun and random 'kiggit' moments in SD with the LA breeziie, E, along with a couple new friends of ours...

ENOUGH SAID ;)

So many things to be thankful for: 

         1. Our president is black (:

          [that look on her face sayin 'DAMN ima fuck the hell outta this nigga 

          tonight'  ahhh that shit was jokes...LMAOOO!]

         2. Life....ahhh well you know how that goes (:

          [hit me unexpectedly, but then again...not so much! ha!]

         3. ...and then some (:

         [cannot complain]

***AHHHMAZED!...people still surprise me!

pleasant surprises :]

So, it's been quite a few days since the last blog...so here's what happened the past few days:

THURSDAY- The Pack...mayneee quite a disappointment. In line for more than an hour to get in the front, then we got there and drunken ass bitches kept pushing so it wasn't fun so we decided to move to the back. Best idea that night cuz we had soo much more fun! && we got to kick it with some cool kids LOL and saw some cuties...including one from earlier this year. Then that was over, got my 'baby daddy' *insider*'  lmao number...saw this dude I met before [cutie from state] then chilled with my BIG and some BSU girlies :) Then walk to my dorm @ 3:30 am!

FRIDAY-Strawberry blunt on campus loop. Candy store with some turtles! Hookahhh...guava is pretty good & it sparks some shit up, huh E? Then Lolita's for a big ass scrumptuous California burrito and horchata. Then back to Lauren's apt for this one game...then Carl's Jr. with Andy...then back on campus. Burnt ass mission! =/

SATURDAY-Beach day...sikeeee! We didn't go cuz it got too cold! But fuckin lady who made my sandwich fucked it up! Oh effin well. Then kicked it and got to know a percolator....LMAO! Then kicked it in E's suite waiting for some POTS but that shit was closed! So we waited for nothing! Then back to Marshall to get ready...then Fnann's and on our way to Sam's function. Ended up gettin it with some people. Cops came. So we dip with Wade...kicked it, danced...SPLITS somewhere in there, and joked around. Got in 10 mins before I got picked up this morning by the folks :) Fun ass night it turned out to be :)

***PLEASANT...'09 is oh sooo fine right about now (:

engaged and underage

Yes, I am indeed engaged now! Ha, sikeeee! Not that kind of engaged muthasssss :) No sireee bob, don't let the ring fool you! I'm talking about 'engaged' as in I'm involved in what I needa do to better myself and the people around me. That lil incident made me realize alotta different shit and I'm glad it happened cuz then I woulda still been naive about certain people and they fakeness! GRRRRR fuck that 'F' word! Keep it real mayneeeee! 

Anywhoo, yesterday was a blast! Burnt ass mission to the UTC mall...well we thought we were on our way there, but we got on the wrong bus so we ended up in Old Town. Then while there, some old bum started singing and supposedky he was serenading some chick over at the trolley station....WEIRD! Then we finally hopped on the bus back to campus, when this lil boy started playing peekaboo with me & E and had this super mischievous evil laugh MWAHAHAHA! Got back on campus and then BAM!!!! We see a person on the ground injured

cuz he got hit by a car, right on the campus loops route! BSU meeting...played this game and bartered to get a doberman...then free BK sundae cones :) off to Revelle to chill....

E: Ohhhh southern cooking!

[all excited and alert]

J: From West Virginia?

[confused tone]

ROFL!!!!! Then off to Mira Mesa to chill with David, Sy, Sam, and V! Whew, what a day! :)

***AWESOMEEEE!....i say i got that 'fuck it' in my system now :)

worst night ever.

'Butterflies grumbling around my stomach. Shivering. Tears strolling down.'

That same feeling when you know you've messed up...but this time, I messed up BIG TIME! There is no explanation for my behavior at all, and why I did it...I had a "good" reason before, now I have no words to speak or a face to show. Out of all the mistakes I've made in life, this is probably number one on the list. 

I feel like every time I try and fit in, and just get along and be on good terms with is everyone, is when I completely blow things up and screw them up. I AM SINCERELY SORRY. I don't know how this will and if it can ever pass, but I'm hoping and praying that they can give me another shot.

I just don't know what's going to happen now, but I know that things are not ever going to be the same again.

***COWARDLY ASHAMED...speechless & humiliated. 

constantly

been :] chyeaaaah good shieeeet! hmmm, randomness attacks. Check out my fresh new 'old' kicks! REDDDD! new phone coming soon...not heartless, just phoneless. ha! okayyy, good day/night :)

In case you couldn't tell, I'm hyperrr as hell!

[jittery julieanne, indeed]

***HAPPYYYYY!...'people just can't be happy for no reason' guess not, just don't know mine yet

super juiceddddd! :]

Okay so I finally went through all four of my new classes this quarter...&& I fucking love them all!!!! 

DOC 2 Justice mandatory but I still like it

Philosophy Metaphysics makes me question everything :)

Ethnic Studies I can digg learning more about me & cultures!

Public Speaking possibly my favorite cuz I love being in front of people =D

So that's wussup :) Umm, and lately I've been in a 'reading mood' which is COMPLETELY & UTTERLY new to me cuz shieeeet I just do NOT read! Idk what is it mayne...&& I've been in a happy go lucky mood with a new perspective for the new year! :) So even if my wack ass phone completely is dunzoooo now, I'm still coo...not sweatin it dudeee!

Oh yeah, and it helps to have a snack box under my bed FILLED with snackies! :) Don't hate! MWAHAHAHA...

***SO HIGH...on life! :)

depth. heart. mind. strength.

'But I'm in luhhh-uhhhh-uhhh-veeee with someone else' 

I'm laying on my bed, peacefully tryna sleep on my first night back...an aim conversation, then a texting session.

I wish you knew what I see.

I wish you knew what I feel.

I wish you knew what I thought.

I wish you knew...

Same words, different destinations, involving the same one person...but different outputs. Why does the heart beat something different from what the mind dictates? What I need is always different from the one I want, and it either hurts me or someone else. One of them said, "You gotta hurt one or the other in order to be happy and then move on..." Not really the exact quote but the same idea. I believed him then, and I still believe him now...I just didn't think it would be so difficult to decide what I should hurt because it pains me either way.

One seeks my heart and one already has it [or so I think]. One encourages me to speak and one needs the encouragement to speak. One is new and one is old. 

Jazmine Sullivan speaks for me when she sings, "In Love with Another Man" Ahhhhh, SIGH!

***TORN...let there be a sign

mastercard.

i lowkey miss him already =/ ahhhhhh!!!!!!! damn that deep voice & those surprise besos...!

san diego to pittsburg plane ticket: a few hundred $$$

hotel: $70 

snack box: about $20

new jacket for the cold: who knows $$$

being crazy enough to even think about all this just for one sight: PRICELESS!

***OH fucking WOW!...'DAMN i [must] LOVE this ninja (:'

P.S. insider [get it? with the color coding & errthang!] don't be assuming bitches! cuz we all know what happens when you do that! MWAHAHAHA!

new year! new me?

I haven't blogged in a minute...but hey I'm BACK! So, with all the anxiety from the past few days, these past couple ones have been pretty darn good. Monday night, I had a nice lil surprise...when everyone left me home all alone, someone came through with my matching purple presents that smell yummy! :) 

"HIM: Ayy do you have anymore mints?

ME: Naw, that's my lipgloss. Why...you want some?"

***& then....SMACK! ;)

Then, Tuesday night was my bestfriend, Angel's 19th birfffday! So we went clubbin at Sin in Downtown. It was pretty coo, she had fun and that's all that matters! Had some dranks before we left and grubbed at Mickey D's...then got some chillen done at 1am ish and then...after thinking I wasn't gonna get to 'say goodbye' i get a text that made me smile...got back to Angel's house. We started watching "Y tu mama, tambien" & omg that shieeeet was crazyyyy! But anywhoo, my lil punkass drove down to see me so I can say bye & so he can get his snack box with a letter i wrote him...he couldn't stay though and I was so sad when he left :'( but you gotta do what you gotta do...at least I got to say 'see ya in 4 months' & we got to say 'ill miss you'! 

But now, it's a new year. I have a new year's resolution. NO testosterone. That's enough said & the rest is for me to know. I coulda gone to LA to party up there but shit happened...there's gonna be a next time for LA & it was still a fun day. Visited my G-ma :) then headed to my aunt's for an annual big family dinner...then a feast back home....5-4-3-2-1...HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! No kiss but whatevs...I pray for a blessed and bountiful year filled with grace, happiness, love, and laughter!

P.S. Thanks to Elize's great idea...I know ima jack her swagggg...sorry bluhhh! Here's my 2008 in a quickie :]

january

started off like all other years

then smiled like crazy [L.B.]

february

finally a valentine

new mainsqueeze [L.B.] finally official 02.22

march

ahhhh! no more mainqueeze

 no smiles, just TEARS :'(

april

trippen balls angry rage

hello NEW YORK!!! :)

may

oh PROM

thank jesus for bffs

june

graduation speech

my lil punkass! [could be miss punkass]

6'11 at sdsu...smiling then

july

favorite month my birfffday! [30th=LEO!]

DICKS! & SMACK! 6'11

no more punkass

but i stayed SMILING =]

august

summer bridge

met my partna E bluhh! :)

september

partayyyyy all day everyday! ;)

start of ucsd...move in

***bye big bed =/

october

ohhhhh, life changing! [cherries]

E made me do it...peer pressure :)

weekend trip to LA

gahhhhdayummmm!

november

nurse E & miss cheetah J! :]

my lil punkass is back! =D

met some cool new people in LA :)

december

started with a good vibe & big smiles!

well, mista payton...in SD!

xmas presents!

awww kisses! <3

birfffdays!

Overall, the year was indeed filled with surprises...people came and gone & there were lots of surprises, more pleasant than none. I know I changed soooo much in 2008, but I'm glad I did because I grew up alot and I became closer to my parents & even met some people I believe will be with me for quite some time. I'm thankful for such a great year but I'm hoping for an even better one with more to come to keep me on my toes! :]

***EXCITED...cannot wait to unfold the presents of the new year! :]