Friday, May 21, 2010
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Here's a Filipino poet, SuperB. Love this poem....thanks Jon :) Lowkey reminds me of Rudy Francisco, with the count...both of the poems talk about "exes"Check these two out!
These were just what I needed to hear...to keep me sane and express my emotions through male perspectives and mouths.
"Sanay di magmaliw ang dati kong araw
Nang munti pang bata sa piling ni Nanay..."
She graced my presence with her yellow ribbons in the air
Yellow, like the sun shining brightly as she
Glides the comb and runs her fingers through my hair, as we sit on the doorstep of our home.
Her scent embraces every curve of my innocence
And her voice,
Her voice captivates every skip of my beating heart
As in her bright yellow Giordanno shirt with a blue collar was one of my first few memories of her.
"Ma," I say
"Can you braid my hair in lil twisties today please?"
She'd chuckle a bit and in response she'd say, "Of course, Anak,"
With a smile that hid every heartache,
Every heart break
And every pain that she ever experienced.
I didn't know it then,
But that moment...
With the warm April breeze of the Philippine "spring",
A glass bottle of Coca Cola perspiring on the corner,
And the tender and loving caress of my mother's working hands,
I was made into a cadence.
A never ending song of blissful gratefulness
That to this day
Brings me tears because I was never aware of the sacrifice she had to go thru to even share that one lil bit of memory that forever holds a place in me.
She doesn't know it, like I didn't know it then,
But she, as my mother,
Has brought me so much joy and pride
Because just like the yellow ribbons she used to put on my hair,
She is the yellow ribbon of my existence.
The symbol of my happiness.
The solace of my love.
She is the best present I have and will ever receive.
Yellow like our skin tone,
She makes up who I am with everything she has shown.
Her strength is refelected in the structure of my face
The framework of my body,
And the intensity of my emotions.
Sometimes I wish I was a kid again,
Just so I can be as close to her, if not more, again.
Every embrace and every touch,
Love, she brings so much.
But now that I've grown older
I've come to realize her worth
She is the most valuable gift to this Earth.
She continues to walk my world with wisdom
As she sacrifices so I can keep my freedom
Because she's the closest to heaven I've ever encountered.
The most powerful woman I've known,
She will forever be in my heart.
Laging nandito, kahit kailan, kailanman, totoo at talaga.
Mahal na mahal kita.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Mannnn that song has been in my head all week! I'm tired of being constantly reminded that I have no one on my life. Idk wtf it is but I've been on this sad tip lately, and not even about a particular person anymore...cuz that was the issue before. Now it's just in general that I'm sad about not having a someone.
Fuck, im not even making any sense cuz im just writing down my thoughts as I sit in my computer chair at home with these keys being even louder than they usually are cuz I'm angrily typing i guess. Well not that Im angry, cuz im not really, im just bummed. I just wanna get over this hump of not being sad but be more apathetic about not having someone cuz for some reason, being apathetic about it sounds more appealing that actually caring about it.
First of, i had this song stuck in my head earlier today..."You know its you babe whenever i get weary and ive had enough, feel like giving up. You know its you babe giving me the courage and the strength i need, please believe that its true...babe i love you"
Like wtf, I want that. I want those words to reign true. Have someone to turn to when i feel like i cant go on anymore. And dont gimme that bullshit like, oh you have your family and friends! Shit i know i do! But you have got to understand that the feeling is different with someone who isnt from those categories eases your mind.
Damn, now my sister just asked me "Why are you typing so hard?" And all I said was "I dont know" quietly...she even suggested that I use the macbook so the keys can be quieter. SIGH. Damn this has got to stop...foreal tho.
Im hungry but i feel like i cant even get myself to eat. I see my blackberry blinking cuz i have texts and bbms and its literally right next to my left hand yet i dont even wanna grab it to check it cuz i know its not anyone who can really make me feel at ease...except just talk more. Same with my FB chat (sorry Jon) that im hella replying slow.