Sunday, January 31, 2010

Flight School

I got my superman power, my superman cape
These the last hours, but superman late
The clock is ticking, damn can you wait?
Man, will he come back and save the day?
Fly across the earth, put things in reverse
I wish this life was a movie I could just rehearse
Certain things I can't doctor, and you say I'm the worst
I ain't have enough patients, but I needed a nurse
Got to come by my bed late, see if my head ache
Then get my head straight
Then give my head great
Every time I popped up like the VCR
I took your breath away
Then we performed CPR

See, I wanna be that woman who does her own thing, separate from her man, yet still manages to take care of him, pamper him, cater to him, and love him like no one has and ever will. If ever he was stressed, I'd be the one who massages his back while he sips on some wine and I wait for the sauce to simmer and the pasta to be aldente for dinner. If ever he was worried, I'd be the one to soothe him and make him feel like he is man enough, strong enough to get through whatever is worrying him.

If ever he has to go through overtime for work and come home late, I'd be in my satin & lace lingerie, already in bed sound asleep. And just like the song, I'd wanna be his nurse who wakes up in the middle of the night when he walks into the room, tired and frustrated about work after a late night. I'd be the one to ease his mind and his body with a gentle touch, a tender kiss, and a warm embrace, and a relaxing massage to make him feel at ease. Give him some of that gentle lovin' starting from my lips to my hips, just so he knows I'm there for him and with him because I'm his and he's mine.

Man oh man! I cannot wait to do that and be that for someone...but patience is a virtue.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Something worth mentioning

Some obstacles have tested my ability to cope, and this time around, my challenges have exposed my unlimited strength and kindness that continue to unfold.

It takes a big person to withstand the tests of time. It takes a big will to accept challenges and defeats, and use them as lessons learned. It takes a big heart to continue showing kindness and generosity to those who have showed you otherwise. It takes a big woman to admit to pain and suffering, yet come out with the most valuable gift of all- courage.

Courage to love. Courage to have faith. Courage to be vulnerable. Courage to cry. Courage to smile and laugh. Courage to trust.

Throughout these past few days, I have been learning more about myself than the years I've tried to search for who I truly am. I had a talk with a good friend of mine because this past week had been so stressful, school-wise and personal-wise. I needed some fresh air and a good conversation to really express where I am at the moment. In doing so, I realized that kindness is second nature to me. My friend, as I spoke about the things going on with me and my feelings, said that I am unlimited- that I am willing to give and not get tired despite what has transpired.

I stopped for a moment, after he had said that, to think and absorb those words...and to be honest, I agree with him. Sometimes, there are things I do that I may not have an explanation for but that's okay because I know it's coming from my heart.

I am unlimited with patience. I am unlimited with strength. I am unlimited with kindness. I am unlimited with love. I am unlimited.

And I'm glad...

Thursday, January 28, 2010

My Ultimate Favorite !

I absolutely LOVE this song & this live performance! It makes me happy EVERY single TIME! :)

Oh yeah, this one too!


Ohhhh dear!

"It's late and I'm feeling so tired, having trouble sleeping. This constant compromise between thinking and breathing..."

As usual, my insomnia attacks. It always does NO MATTER how tired/exhausted I get from the day's events. Delivering babies definitely would be a good profession for me since them cuties decide to pop out around this time of the day.

Anywhooo, I feel like exposing some hoesss! LMAO jk not hoes necessarily, just people. But I figured that would be too mean and too much for me to do [for yall to read] cuz I know I'll definitely offend some people, but just know I've thought about it....well, still am actually.

The old Julieanne is back, that's fashoo! :)

So ima try and get this sleep, and finish off this midterms week with a BANG! =D Toodles loves! :)

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Here's the scoop

I keep sneezing. All day today I've been sneezing.

OHHHH! I know why...

It's cuz I'm getting rid of the toxins AKA the bullshit in my body!

I like that idea. I've been super busy with studying and going hard with my school grind, and I kinda like it that way. Helps me not think as hard and it helps me sleep better :)

Monday, January 25, 2010

Circling my mind.

It's funny how sounds and smells can remind you of something or someone as much, if not more than an actual visual.

There are certain songs that remind you of an event, of a moment in time, of a person, and every time you hear it, it instantly brings you back to that moment. In the same sense, there are certain smells that bring you right back to that one summer that you spent under the trees with people you will never forget.

These are caused by a part of our brains called the amygdala. I remember seeing a movie with Ashley Judd and Hugh Jackman for the same reason- because Ashley Judd's character wanted to surgically remove her amygdala because she got sad & cried every time she smelled fresh laundry, since it reminded her of her cheating ex-boyfriend. Isn't it amazing how powerful the brain is?!

I mean come to think about it, no matter how long it has been, and even if you haven't smelled or heard that one "thing," as soon as it is present, your brain is triggered and all of a sudden, you're back to that time with that sound and that smell guiding you there, like bread crumbs in Hansel & Gretel [spell check?]

It's amazing how memory works, can you imagine how different life would be without it?

If all else fails...

P R A Y.

Yourself [through Him].

I went to church with my parents this morning. I needed to go to church today. I needed to speak to God today, and be present & surrounded by his presence. As always, I was renewed and my strength was revived.

During the Homily, Father John Dolan talked about individuals who went through hardships and struggles. He mentioned a baseball player who was about ready to change the face of baseball because he was THAT great. But something happened and he got hurt. He wasn't hurt to the point where his career was in jeopardy, but he did need some time off to go to therapy and recover.

In the short time that he was off, he began a healing process- little did he know, he was not only healing his body, he was also healing his soul and his heart. In that little amount of time, he realized that he had a calling to serve God. So at the time that he was to come back to start playing again, he made the radical choice to give everything up instead and he chose to serve God.

Now this got me thinking. The priest said that it takes time to heal, and in doing so, we are able to slow down and discern just what it is that we need. We are able to look deep within what has happened to us, and really think about what we want and need out of life.


Now I know I've mentioned my faith in past posts but lately, I have been speaking to God much more deeply and frequently because I am not whole right now. I've been asking him for goodness, strength, courage, wisdom, guidance, peace, and happiness. I've been praying for Him to cradle me into His arms and let His love fill my life, and I've been asking for understanding so that I may not look back and feel resentment or anger.

Lately, I've been growing into the woman who I'm meant to be through God's grace and God's will. I'm grateful for the privilege of having a relationship with Him because when all else fails, I come to Him and cry to Him because in the end, He is the only one who knows what's in my heart.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

After Thought.

The worst part of it all is that I'll never know why.

Great Expectations.

One lesson I learned from this situation is that I shouldn't expect others to have the same intentions and same emotions as I do.

High expectations lead to high disappointments.

I can only expect something from myself because I'm the only one I have control over. I have no control over another's thoughts and feelings, therefore I cannot expect them to react the same way I would, despite similar situations.

I cannot expect another person to deal with situations the same way that I will, despite the fact that we both care about each other. Not everybody deals the same way, and like my homie David always says, "Everything is situational."

"Normal" is a relative term. One thing may be normal to one person, and it could be extreme to another.

I also learned that I shouldn't go into anything to try and make someone else better, even if they ask me to. I cannot do such a thing. In fact, nobody really can. I mean, yes, I can influence someone to do better and be better, but that only comes naturally if the person is ready to do so.

Like I said, people deal with situations in different ways. For example, some people maybe hurt, and instead of fully moving on, they choose to have the pain linger in them. With that said, if another comes in to try and make things "better," it just won't work because that person is not allowing themselves to go there; they are not ready yet.

It all boils down to knowing and respecting myself, as well as others, enough to know where our boundaries lie. Also, know where our differences stand and work from there.
I can only do me, and the only way I can do that is by being in touch with myself. I can only hope that others may be as privileged with their own selves to know who they are, and what they are willing to go through, like I have been.

One Day

"Sometimes in my tears I drown, but I never let it get me down so when negativity surrounds, I know someday it'll all turn around..."

I thank my brother for playing this song and introducing me to the first step of moving on. I appreciate the positivity and the hope this song brings, and I hope you do too.

"All my life I've been waiting for, I've been praying for, for the people to say that we don't wanna fight no more."


I am my own Rock.

I read another blog just today and something clicked.

They say that everything happens for a reason and that is easy to accept, but the
hardest thing to do is find the reason why such things happen.

As I read this particular blog from, I realized that
this particular situation, however hurtful, happened because it gives me the
opportunity to focus on myself and the things I want to accomplish to get ahead.

It's like somewhere in this pain, I became enlightened and my spirit was revived and
renewed. Like a phoenix dies but after a while, it is revived, and is more
beautiful. With the pain, I have to move forward, and with moving forward, I will have
the opportunity to better myself, and learn about who I am. Learn about who I truly
am, so that I can have a strong grasp of what I want and need, and be strong enough
to recognize as well as proclaim what they are.

At the beginning of this year, I said that it will be the year of the lover. I still
believe in that very much so, but what I'm starting to realize is that maybe, it's
the year of loving myself. It is the year for me to recognize and focus on the
opportunities I have to better myself, and better others while I do so.

It has only been a couple days since the pain started trickling down my very cheeks
but it seems to get easier and easier even with every minute because I realize the
good things that are still around me and within me, as well as the brightness of
doors that are now open that lay ahead.

I am so inspired and bright-eyes for the great possibilities that are ahead of me
after what has transpired. I can only smile as I look back and ahead of what was and
what is going to be. I choose to not let negativity take a hold of me and I choose
to not let my love have negative power over me. That was not my intention when I
started loving and it is still not my intention for my own love to be poisoned by
pain. I intend for such love to flourish and develop into an anecdote that may cure
the ails of the heart and of the soul.

I choose to not let it take a toll on me because it will only weaken my spirit and
hinder me from moving forward. And I cannot let anything, no matter how heavy the
fall, burden me from ever loving again, ever smiling again, and from ever prospering

I choose to grow. I choose to develop. I choose to blossom instead of wilt under
pressure. I can only be me, and I can only do it I'll make the best of it,
and trust that I'll be okay. No matter what.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

The Heart of the Matter

"I've been learning to live without you now but I miss you sometimes. The more I know the less I understand and all the things I thought I figured out I have to learn them heart is so shattered by I think it's about forgiveness"

This song seems to speak volumes to me, especially now that it applies so well. I don't even have to really say anything else but just listen to the words and you'll understand where I'm coming from.

I can't even be angry, and I choose not to be. I choose not to fuel the fire of anger so I choose to listen to this song.

It's just so positive and I know it talks about being hurt but "I think it's about forgiveness even if you don't love me anymore."

I wish I wasn't sad, but I'm only human so I am naturally sad. As a result, I will cry and I did cry. I just might cry some more. However, I've learned and I'm starting to learn again that I shouldn't suppress any of my emotions, good or bad, because they are MY emotions and they're the only way I can remind myself that I am human, and that I shouldn't be ashamed or afraid of how I feel.

I'm thankful for those who empathize with me, instead of sympathizing with me because they help me realize that it's okay to be who I am. It's okay to be emotional and that I don't have to worry about feeling down because they pull me back up. They help me realize how much strength I have within me and even when I'm feeling vulnerable and weak, they're there to act as a foundation I can fall back on.

They've shown me and let me know that I did what I could and I shouldn't be so hard on myself because all I did was love, and there's nothing wrong with that. They let me make my decisions without saying "I told you so" when I was wrong, and they were there to guide me back to the right way.

I cannot emphasize enough about how much it hurts because it really does and I know it will take some time for my heart and myself to recover. Healing is a process. Bu at the same time, there aren't enough words to say how much I appreciate having such real people in my life. They make it a little easier for me to cope and not bring my guards up again.They make it a little easier for me to stand on my own and move forward because I know they'll be there to assist me.

I've been trying to get down to the heart of the matter, and thank you for going there with me. Thank you for the lessons. Thank you for the love. Thank you for being there. Thank you for not leaving. Just thank you.

Friday, January 22, 2010

So You Can Cry

Sometimes, we make choices thinking that it is what's best for us at that moment in time. We hope we make the right ones, especially when we sacrifice something else because of the decisions we make. And when we realize we did make the right decision, all becomes well.

But what happens when we realize that we made the wrong choice? That we made the wrong decision? That we made the wrong sacrifice?

Now, I'm not the type of person who likes to regrets her decisions, however, there are times when I get to thinking about my situations, and sometimes I think to myself about how I should have made the other choice...maybe it would have been a better choice.

But then again, it's better to look at wrong decisions as lessons learned instead of mistakes because like I said, it seemed like the right choice at the time, and we felt like it was the better choice.

As a result of my choices, my heart is heavy. Heavier than it has ever been, and I don't know how to lighten it without letting myself cry before I move forward. To me, I'd rather give myself some time to feel the weight of my heart than to prematurely move on and find that I still hold some hurt inside me.

I can't do that to myself anymore. I can't blame myself by comparing myself to the next person because I can only be me and I have no other way of living and being. But I can let myself get through this consequence so that I can come back stronger and better than how I was left.

There's so much to say and so many questions to ask but I have to remind myself that I cannot always get what I want. I have to sacrifice something in order to get to where I want to be, and this pain is only temporary.

I'll ask the sun to shine away from me today so I can cry. That's why I'm kinda glad its raining so it can cover my tears when they start falling.

Still thankful though, because there definitely have been lessons learned and I can't complain because I made them. I made the choices and I have to stick to them and the consequences they bring. Plus, crying is release, it's good for me, better than holding them back at least.

So to my tears, don't you worry, you just keep coming until you're ready to stop. Until you're tired and ready to let my smiles start coming back again.

Is it possible?

Is it even possible to just be friends with someone you love? Is it possible to live that way, knowing the person you love is with someone else? Knowing the person you love is in love with someone else...when he loved you before she ever came into his life, and now you're just a friend?

Is it ever possible to move on from feeling the greatest feeling on earth, but not have it reciprocated? Is it worth doing things to take care of him so he knows you care and wanna love him, while he already knows you do, yet still have someone else on his side, on his bed, on his mind besides you...and still be his friend?

Is it possible to get anymore hurt than feeling this love for someone who used to care about you in the same way you care about him now, but not feel that way about you anymore even when you feel even stronger for him now than ever before?

They say it takes courage to love. They also said that when you love someone, sometimes you have to let them go if it means that they'll be happy. But what about my happiness? I deserve love too. What if I don't want him to let go because I don't wanna let go of him?

Is it possible to let go and get through? Is it possible to get passed the pain and have someone other than myself love me passed the pain?

I know it is, but right now, I'm just not ready to move past it yet. I need some time to think and feel. One step at a time. One day at a time.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

This Bed.

Who knew that a bed could trigger SO many different things?

I went to bed with a severe back pain, to the point where it felt all stiff. I couldn't find a comfortable spot so I kept tossing and turning. I woke up this morning and it was even worse! My shoulders were sore as fuck and it still hurts! FUCK this lil ass twin bed, causing me anguish and shit :(

At the same time, my bed also brings me back to missing some company. I miss having someone to lay next to and just chill, no sexual tip. But yeah, since I'm grown in my thoughts, ima just go ahead and admit that I miss the sexual tip too [LOL].

This rain and cool weather sure does NOT help either. Making me think of some thangssss and what not. But since my back is hurt, I just wanna chill and cuddle up :/

I FCUKING MISS IT!!! Damn you bed. Damn you rain. Damn you cold. Damn you distance.

The first song just applies to the title of my post and pretty much the topic of this post, but the
second song actually applies to how I'm feeling at the moment.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

A few thoughts.

What makes a great person "great"? Is it the gestures that he or she does? The things he or she says? Is it the smile that captures one's heart that comes from his or her lips?

...or it is something else?

What makes a great person "great"?

A person is great because he or she does things for others out of love and inspiration, without asking for actions in return. He or she speaks out of the heart, not to sweep anyone off their feet temporarily, but to inspire and captivate one's mind to procreate and be proactive, without asking for words in return. A great person smiles, not only because he or she is happy, but because despite their own obstacles, they choose to be positive, in hopes that maybe...someone else will feel his or her energy and let their own light shine, taking one step forward with a curve that straightens everything out, without asking for any sunshine in return.

What makes a great person, "great" are the little things they do that makes such a big difference because of its cycle that continues to spread around. Once they do, say, and smile at another, it seems that the other generates some sort of positive energy and feels the need to share it to someone else. Instead of just one person being happy, now there's three.

If you come to think of it, it's a great thing, started by a great person...and that my friends, is a beautifully planned out subconsciousness, and THAT makes a person great.

Monday, January 18, 2010

I got it!

This past Wednesday, I auditioned for a play that the Filipino organization on my campus is putting up. A friend, who happened to be one of the play's script writer came to me and asked me to audition. I was a bit hesitate at first, but I thought, "Why not?" so I did.

I was supposed to recite a monologue or a poem for the audition, and seeing as how it was a last minute kind of thing, I just decided to do this piece I performed for the Students of Color Conference. It went a little something like this:

I hold a lot of anger, sorrow, and discomfort inside my heart because I am meant to be a. symbol of strength. One who will shoulder the emotional and mental burdens of those who constantly remind her of the hardships she has to go through. And these become tied together into a knot that holds me down and keeps me imprisoned, apart from the imprisonment society has already bestowed upon my ambuity, when I am asked, "Are you Mexican? Are you Black?" I'm not black. I'm not mexican. But when people think of me as someone else, it's like society doesn't seem to recognize my people's struggle because there was no civil rights mvmt because of slavery but my people were enslaved too! We don't have the same struggle but my people were enslaved too. In fact, I still feel enslaved by the nonsense psychobabble as to why there aren't more people like me I can connect to and turn to. No offense to other races because they are all bold and beautiful, but it's like ur stripping me naked of my culture and my stuggles with that one simple question. I am ambiguous. I have many identities.I am a woman. A woman of color. A Filipina, symbol of strength. Ako ay Filipino, simbolo ng lakas!

I was SO not prepared and kinda embarrassed to say that I had to audition reading the piece off my Blackberry. They were all cool about it, and I managed to still put as much passion behind the reading as I could. They asked me if it was okay if I could read a part from the script, and I was more than happy to do so, so they picked from two characters and finally decided on one.

I had to read for the character named Larissa. She's a 17 year old girl who held alot of resentment towards her father because she knew nothing about him and had no solid relationship with him since he had been deployed in the Navy ever since she was 8. The scene was with her homosexual best friend, who was still struggling with his own identity, who was listening to her recite her poem about how she felt about her father.

So anyways, I was home this weekend, and at midnight last night, I remembered that the final cast list was gonna be posted, so I toyed with the idea of looking it up just to see who made it, and there it was: "Larissa- Julieanne Aquino"! I was soooo psyched and got super excited.

Yeah I know it's a small production but it still means alot to me that I was able to get a part. I've been thinking about theater and the possibility of minoring in it because I find it so incredibly fascinating. The idea of being able to play another person, and literally putting myself in another's shoes is just so inspiring to me.

I think my fascination was ignited when I was helping someone with their take home midterm last school year, and it happened to be about ancient drama and the differences in each ancient culture's take on theater.

I mean I had always toyed with the idea of being an actress and learning more about theater. I remember, I was in a few plays back in the Philippines in elementary school, and I remember being sick with a fever, but I knew how much I wanted to play the antagonistic step mother that I strolled onto the stage, burning up. I even remember the specific scene.

I was wearing a granny dress and my hair was in a bun, which my grandma did for me since my mom was in Japan working, and she just so happened to be there visiting from the "States". My drama teacher put on my stage make up for me and the powder on my hair to make me look like an old lady [LOL]. And in that particular scene I vividly remember, I was talking to my stepdaughter and I was being mean to her, telling her she could not see her real mother because she had to stay home and clean, and then I to pinched her nose cuz she started crying!

IDK, maybe it's just another phase, or maybe it's just because I've been so involved in the sciences and math that I need a way to express myself differently, but I definitely feel like theater is a great way to find myself, especially because I will be able to somehow relate to the character I'm playing. It will help me since I wanna explore new territories, things out of my comfort zone, and I'm just really glad they chose me to play a role. I hope I don't disappoint :)

Sunday, January 17, 2010

After 6, 8, 12...

I miss you.
[It is not but a mere statement overused by lips, but an emotion uttered by the most precious of souls.]

Is it a sin to bring it to life? To let my heart speak it? To let my mind contemplate it?

What comes to mind when such a delicate phrase, said with the utmost sincerity, is spoken?

As a matter of fact, who, comes to mind when it is heard and genuinely felt?

Thursday, January 14, 2010

My favorite boy.

I was looking through pictures from this past summer
& golly, look what I found!
I love these pictures of us :)
& I miss my brother soooo...

He's like my other twin (sister is the other).
He makes me look like a midget, standing at 6'3 to my mere 5'7...
and btw, he's only 15!

Anywhoo, him & I have an understanding,
He listens to me and gives me advice...
& makes me laugh while he's at it
To make me feel better,
and I listen to him and his problems
and give him advice and what not.

I can't believe he's growing up so fast :/
I wish I could keep him as the baby
I used to take care of, and sing off to sleep.
Maybe that's why we're super close now.

Welp, that's him favorite boy.
My brother dearest, Lance MARIE Aquino.
[just joshin about the "Marie" it's an insider]

Love with no Limits

Why is it so difficult to keep a relationship with a person if that person is in love with you? I'm not saying it's difficult at all if BOTH parties were in love, but if one is and the other isn't, the friendship that has been built up over the years just seems to crumble with the blink of an eye or the snap of two fingers.

Here me out here.

If both people knew the involvement with other people from jump, I don't see why the friendship has to suffer. I mean, I understand where the "lover" is coming from in terms of what he or she may feel about the "lovee" because I've been there, but really though, I don't get why you can't be friends still! Like for example, if both people knew the status of the other when it comes to the other's love life (i.e. they both know that the other is dating/seeing/talking to others and both made it clear that a relationship beyond friendship is either not suitable or nor wanted), why does the "lovee" have to suffer losing a good friend and the "lover" has to suffer some type of heartache?

It's a lose-lose situation if you ask me. Personally, if I was the "lover" in this case, I would tell the other person I was interested in something furthermore than what a mere friendship offers. Now don't get me wrong, I don't mean "mere" as to degrade a friendship because such a relationship is truly powerful and beneficial in many ways. I'm just saying, if the "lover" clearly knew deep in his or her heart that he or she wanted something else, don't put yourself in that "friends zone" only. It's like you're setting yourself up for pain and tension, and frankly, a loss, of either a great friend or a potential mate, or even both.

As the "lovee" in this situation, I completely understand why the "lover" would stray away from contact of any kind (physical, emotionally, and even simple texts and phone conversations) BUT please also understand where I'm coming from. We've discussed it many times before, whether or not we're gonna be friends or more, and always it concludes to just being friends. Yes, I love you too, but it doesn't mean that I'd wanna start something with you, other than what was already brought to the table. In other cases, some "lovees" even bring up the desire of wanting to go to the next level, but for one reason or another, the "lovers" decide to remain friends and not "go there".

So then I come to this...emotion, somewhat of a discomfort. One of the worst things I have to go through is having to lose someone as a great friend because of UNmutual feelings. Okay, maybe not necessarily not mutual, but more of an unbalance in levels of such emotions (i.e. one can love someone as a friend, a best friend, but not as a mate). I just think it's something that can be worked out through better communication and effort, and personally, I think it's hurtful for both parties to experience such things.

Personally, I feel like if one really loved someone as much as he or she says and thinks they do, they would be there to be a good friend, a shoulder to lean on and cry to. Someone who won't judge them for their decisions, but guide them and help them be better...instead of leaving. But I know that it takes a lot of courage and strength to stay, and some people would rather leave and move on, and I understand that. But when I love, there is no boundaries nor limits towards that special emotion.

Ahhh, here she goes again, with her song being SO applicable with this particular situation.

"I'm in love with another man
And I'm so sorry, hey
But I love someone else"

But then again, maybe if things were meant to be between that "lover" and that "lovee" who knows, that man (or woman) just might be the one he or she the end.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

[ME] State of Mind

I am reborn every waking day. Not expecting what's to come ahead and what lies in front of me, every waking day.

No more sleepless nights. No more tiresome mornings.

I've come to re-evaluate what is important in MY life. I am important. My family is important. Those who I consider true friends are important. Overall, God is important.

There are far greater sacrifices this world and its people have made for me to linger on and pity the minute ones I face, in comparison to the bigger things everyone else does.

I am fortunate to have love in and around me. I am blessed to have a happy home. If I cannot feel nor find the love and happiness I seek, I know to step back to my foundation.

I'm a new soul
I came to this strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit bout how to give and take.
But since I came here,
Felt the joy and the fear
Finding myself making every possible mistake

I'm a young soul
In this very strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit bout what is true and fake
But why all this hate?
Try to communicate
Finding trust and love is not always easy to make

RANDOM things I found


1 : strong affection 2 : warm attachment
1 : CHERISH 2 : to feel a passion, devotion, or tenderness for

"To be sensual, I think, is to respect and rejoice in the force of life, of life itself, and to be present in all that one does, from the effort of loving to the making of bread." (James ARThur Baldwin).

You magnify my happiness
When I am feeling glad;
You help to heal my injured heart
Whenever I am sad.
You’re such a pleasure in my life;
I hope that you can see
How meaningful your friendship is;
You’re a total joy to me.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

If I ruled the world...

I wish certain people had personal blogs. You know, the type of blog that spoke of what they truly and deeply felt & thought...the kinda blog that literally lays their heart out onto a sheet of paper, well in this case, an online page.

I wanna learn more about certain people...their desires, their aspirations, their motivations, their true self. The self that is detached from sugar coating bull that appears and is seen by the general public.

The kind of thing I'd know about if I were to open up their hearts and their brains. The kind of things that no one else knows. The kind of truth only they know.

Idk, I'm just rambling, but if it were up to me, I'd make it so that nobody has to hide their true thoughts because of fear of rejection and isolation. Whoever can expose that to me, will get the same back from me, and frankly...

But that's just me. I'm just saying though...