Sunday, February 28, 2010

Kanye SPEAKS to me

I know I haven't blogged in about two weeks because I have been busy with the intolerance in my school, with the whole racist notions people have over there. But that's not what I want to blog about tonight. I have other things in mind and they have been put on hold because of the movement. I lowkey appreciate that hold, but now, it has come to the light again. Now, as I reflect on my emotions and thoughts, I listen to Kanye's music and I'm relating so much. Basically the entire 808's & Heartbreak album is my shit right now.

Bittersweet, you're gonna be the death of me
I dont want you, but I need you,
I love you and I hate you at the very same time

See what I want so much, should never hurt this bad
Never did this before, thats what the virgin said
We've been generally warned, thats what the surgeon says
God talk to me now this is an emergency

And she claim she only with me for the currency,
You cut me deep bitch cut me like surgery

And I was to proud to admit that it was hurtin me
I'd never do that to you at least purposely

We breakin up again we makin up again
but we dont love no more
I guess we fuckin then

Okay I'm back up on my grind
You do you and I'm just gone do mine
You do you, cause I'm just gone be fine...
Baby girl I'm finished
I thought we were committed
I thought we were cemented
How I thought we meant it
Now we just forgetting
Now we just resenting
The clouds in my vision
Look how high I be getting
And it`s all because of you
Girl we through

I've found my closure. It shouldn't hurt this much to "love" someone. I shouldn't have to convince anyone why they should be with me. I don't really have anything else to add because this song basically articulates the words for me because every single line, I can DEFINITELY relate to. I'm done bending over backwards, and I shouldn't have to when I need to express how I feel and what I think. I need to be with someone who wants me just as much as I do him. It's not good for my ego, my mind, or my heart to fight for someone who isn't even willing to fight for me. & please don't think I'm bitter because I'm not. I'm hurt, yes...but bitter? NO. I just made some crucial realizations and I need to keep them as close to me as possible.

WARNING: Do not fall for me if you can't catch me when I fall for you.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Post Racism Era? I think NOT! SMFH!!!

[PLEASE keep in mind that today, UCSD has about 200 Black students PERIOD.... out of about 20,000 undergrads. yes.......closer to 1% than 2%]

Invitation details for a WHITE frat's "celebration" of Black History Month:

February marks a very important month in American society. No, i'm not referring to Valentines day or Presidents day. I'm talking about Black History month. As a time to celebrate and in hopes of showing respect, the Regents community cordially invites you to its very first Compton Cookout.

For guys: I expect all males to be rockin Jersey's, stuntin' up in ya White T (XXXL smallest size acceptable), anything FUBU, Ecko, Rockawear, High/low top Jordans or Dunks, Chains, Jorts, stunner shades, 59 50 hats, Tats, etc.

For girls: For those of you who are unfamiliar with ghetto chicks-Ghetto chicks usually have gold teeth, start fights and drama, and wear cheap clothes - they consider Baby Phat to be high class and expensive couture. They also have short, nappy hair, and usually wear cheap weave, usually in bad colors, such as purple or bright red.
They look and act similar to Shenaynay, and speak very loudly, while rolling their neck, and waving their finger in your face. Ghetto chicks have a very limited vocabulary, and attempt to make up for it, by forming new words, such as "constipulated", or simply cursing persistently, or using other types of vulgarities, and making noises, such as "hmmg!", or smacking their lips, and making other angry noises,grunts, and faces.
The objective is for all you lovely ladies to look, act, and essentially take on these "respectable" qualities throughout the day.

Several of the regents condos will be teaming up to house this monstrosity, so travel house to house and experience the various elements of life in the ghetto.

We will be serving 40's, Kegs of Natty, dat Purple Drank- which consists of sugar, water, and the color purple , chicken, coolade, and of course Watermelon. So come one and come all, make ya self before we break ya self, keep strapped, get yo shine on, and join us for a day party to be remembered- or not.

Who in their right fucking minds would pull some shit like this?! WOW, and in an institution that supposedly "cultivates diversity"? Foreal UCSD?! Get your shit together!

Friday, February 12, 2010

Mind over matter.

Shit, here's some proof...from a D O C T O R ! [Thanks to hiphopsince1989] Lol. But foreal tho, in all seriousness, I've always believed that the mind is a powerful weapon and it really is all in our heads.

WATCH THIS! it's crucial

It's the law of attraction!

The Hangover PART II

I'm thinking about it again.

I'm talking about it again.

Relating to someone else's stories again.

& as I read the feelings, thoughts, and emotions through my Blackberry

and let the feelings, thoughts, and emotions sink in my heart...

There it goes again.

That faint dizziness.

That head nausea.

& I feel like I'm losing control.

Literally losing control of where y head is going.

It feels a little something like this:

Head throbs.
Feels like it's going from side to side,
Circling and spinning,
Yet my head and my body is still.
I keep it still
because I don't wanna fall over
or fumble my head.
My body feels numb,
Legs glued to the ground,
Heavy as solid concrete.
My head starts feeling dizzy.
The left back side of my head feels like a hammer is constantly pounding over it
And like accupuncture,
Pins and needles poking the shit out of my tender headedness,
Only this one isn't to cure any ailments,
It IS the illness.

Then my roommates walk in and interrupt

My sudden urges to puke my thoughts out and fall over them

As if to cover them and pretend like they never happened.

But as soon as they walk out of the room,

The dizzy spells continue.

The twisting, turning feeling in my stomach continues.

The throbbing head pains continue.

Like a crucial hangover...
Except this one isn't from alcohol.

Since Valentines' Day is fast approaching...

Just take a few minutes to sit back, close your eyes and listen to this man sing one of my favorite songs... and when you're done, take another few moments to listen to him speak about... NO not sex, but making love.

"Cuz if your love was all I had in this life, well that would be enough until the end of time. So rest your weary heart and relax your mind, cuz I'm gonna love you girl until the end of time. You got me saying woaaahh ohhh woah ohhhh ohhh yeaaahhh..."

This, here, makes love making sound SO wonderfully and stupendously passionate. Just try to focus on his words as you close your eyes and let your mind wander for four minutes and nineteen seconds...

"Rainy days are only good for jigsaw puzzles and making love, and I've never really been good at's not like I can't love you just the same when it's sunny and 82 but there's something about the pitter-pat on the window sill that makes me feel like our hearts beat the same...and we'll make music together, or more like a symphony..."

The Hardest Place

I saw this cat, Andrew Tyree, perform his spoken word at my school for The Good Guys Tour and I loved his pieces and his delivery.

This one was just something I needed to hear to get inspired and help me get up.

"Sometimes the hardest place to be is right where you're supposed to be. And I know it has to be in His will, but sometimes when He leads He blocks the light and I can't see what's in front of me. See, I'm afraid of the dark, but I know there's an oasis out there waiting on me. But I know that to get there then, I've gotta be here now...and this ain't easy."

Identity Crisis

See lately, I've been feeling like a nobody.
Wait, hold I'm a somebody unseen and unrecognized by everybody.
Lately, I've been feeling like I have a stolen identity...
My height matches that of a white girl,
My frame? That of an Asian girl
My face looks so damn near a Latina
But I am none of those because I am Filipina

But lately,
and every other time someone tries to figure me out
and expose my ambiguity,
I feel my throat gets a lil dryer
my fists clench a lil tighter
and my smile grows a lil weary
Because you asking me that question
Reinforces my insecurities and backs up this society's notion
That everyone should fall in a box
Check here if you're this, check here if you're that
and if you're not, then you find yourself behind locks
that detain you for being different.
For being ambiguous
and for making them feel uncomfortable
that they can't figure you out so their minds become strenuous.

Lately, I've been feeling like an "Other" in a sea of many
I get tired of always having to answer to someone's discomfort in who I am upon meeting me
Like I'm some sort of alien, a savage, a science experiment, a spectacle that they have to see clearly and observe me.
Lately, I've been feeling like I can't be free from the shackles of my identity,
And it has become a crime to expose me
Like my identity has been stolen, taken away from me.
Lately Ive been feeling like a credit card,
Stolen from the wallet,
that has been my security blanket
To keep someone's funds from dehydrating and dying out
Except with me,
There's no hotline I can call and report a missing card with a stolen identity.
There's no police who will arrest the thieves who took advantage of me.
In fact, I'm the one who cannot be freed from the shackles of my individuality
Because I am different, apart from the normality
of someone who is of the same descent as me.
I continue to suffer from stolen identity,
If only there was one phone call away that will put a hold on my funds,
If only there were cops to expose my thief and rescue me...
Then I'll be free.

I was inspired to write a little something [just a freestyle of my thoughts] after I saw this piece on youtube a homie of mine sent. It's nothing like his spoken word piece but I felt like writing :) Anyways, here's the video, so yall can be inspired and see it too!

Thursday, February 11, 2010

How many more tears do I have to shed for everything to be fine?

Everything is falling apart right before my eyes. It usually doesn't all come down at once, and I usually have that ONE strong point to hold on to and keep me going, but EVERY aspect of my life is going down.

Family. Friends. Relations. School.

I don't know what else to do...I don't know what else to say...

I'm always the one making sure everyone else is taken cared of, but doesn't anyone else care about how I'm doing? Cuz it sure doesn't feel like it.

Monday, February 8, 2010

GREAT morning everyone!

I woke up on the "right" side of the bed this bed...earlier than usual and I'm glad because my mood is quite a great one, and I'd like to share it with you all. I'd also like to share this quote someone commented on one of my posts because I believe it's worth sharing. So who ever this "Anonymous" may have been, thank you for this...and to everyone else, may you all have a blessed day and an even greater week :)

Everything and everyone does happen for a reason, good or bad, it's in our nature to learn from them. Never let anyone get to you, hold you down, and never show them your weak side.

Accept the truth, whatever it may be, and deal with it...


Sunday, February 7, 2010

Weekly Words of Wisdom

Today's homily was about motivation. Fortunately enough, I was there to hear it and listen to God's words speak to me and lift me once again.

He said that motivation comes from those who love us. People who unconditionally route for us because they appreciate having us in our lives. He said that motivation comes from God to do things to better myself and those around me so that I, as well as they, may not suffer any longer.

He also said that motivation comes from different sources. He said that God comes in our lives and motivates us through our sufferings because it causes change. It gives us the ability and the opportunity to change who we are from who we used to be in order to improve.

I am forever grateful to have heard those words from the priest. Struggles are motivation for progression. Yes! I agree. I am thankful for these obstacles because I know they continue to remind me of the accomplishments that I will and have achieved. They continue to rescue me from the daily fragments of depression and emancipate my heart and mind from my own imprisonment.

Today had been a wonderful and enlightening day. It all started off with that beautiful Gospel spoken to me. Ironically, to make things even better, the Saints won. God's words and deeds are always at work.

To top it all off, I was awaken today. I am revived. My spirits are renewed because I was able to sing again. I went to an Art Collective rehearsal for this Saturday's high school conference. I was able to express myself through music and spoken word with the guidance of the cajon Justin beat, the dances Leslie and Chevy performed, and the music Crystal, Diana, and I sang. It feels so good to sing and perform again, and know that I am doing it with people who share the same passions as I do.

I am once again motivated. I thank them, but most of all, I thank God for uplifting me and guiding me back to this light.



"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

But sometimes, the hardest thing to accept is the truth...

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Falling in Love [in a coffee shop?]

I read this from my homie thisismycool's blog, and I felt compelled to copy it and post my answer along with it.

so a while back when i was on twitter i asked a question and haven't gotten an answer yet. now it wasn't really put out there to get an answer, more so to stir up some thinking. [...usually the purpose behind all of my tweets] so i'll ask the question on here and hopefully some beautiful minds will come across this and provide some insight. do you have to "fall" in love or can you "walk" into it. now it may seem like a joke, but i'm serious. the word "fall" makes it seem like it something unexpected. like it's a mistake or something. and i mean i can understand when love comes about unexpectedly or "by mistake" [if that even makes sense]. but what if you carried yourself towards love knowingly. completely aware of what happened, what's going on, what's going to happen. or is that impossible? what if i chose to "jump" into love? i'm seriously looking for some insight on this so if you come across this, offer a little something. doesnt matter how old this is, every opinion is greatly appreciated. spread the word. 'preciate ya ;)

I never thought it the way you just expressed how "falling" in love can seem that way...but I think that it is referred to as "falling" because people don't start talking to people expecting to feel that way about the person they initiated that conversation with. So with that said, I think it is somewhat unexpected... BUT personally, if it was with someone you spoke to about your deepest thoughts and even your most random thoughts, you can't help but feel much strongly, and in that case, fall in love with that person, and have them fall in love with you. I don't think it's a good idea to say that one fell in love "by mistake" could have been unexpected, but loving someone is never a mistake because love is a beautiful thing, no matter the shape or form...whether it was expected or not. I think that if you "knowingly" carry yourself towards love, and for some reason didn't know what to do after you have "fallen", you will end up finding the answer in your heart. I don't think it is possible to "jump" into love because I feel like love, the pure and true kind, takes time to develop and does not just come as soon as you meet that one person. I think that "walking" into love is similar to "falling" in love in the same that it is still a movement. But at the same time, walking into love seems kinda forced to me, and almost expected as opposed to falling in love...and I'd rather fall in love than walk into it, because personally...I prefer doing things that are spontaneous an unexpected, but in the end...leave a very powerful effect on those who were exposed. But that's just me.

What do yall think?

The Great Debaters

I've been wanting to see it for quite some time nowI cannot express just how much I loved and appreciated watching this movie. It has so many great scenes and lines, and it's just so inspirational to me.

Here's one thing I got from the movie...from the scene when Henry took Samantha on a little canoe ride on the lake, kinda like in The Notebook, and exposed his calmer side to her.

It's amazing how one man can surrender his inhibitions and his fears to truthfully express his truths and his passions to a woman.

It's amazing how a woman can captivate a man's heart, soothe his mind, and calm his soul, and get him to be his true self around her.

It's amazing how the man can just be honest and be himself, and reveal the one side if him that no one else has ever seen to the one woman who makes him feel like he can do all things.

It's amazing how a woman can fall in love and feel at ease at the vulnerable man in front of him because of the same thing that he has revealed and entrusted her with. And it's amazing how that one moment can linger in that woman's mind and result in unconditional love that will never die in her heart.

"Be with someone who knows what they have when they're with you."

Thursday, February 4, 2010

15 Types of Love

Infatuation: loving feelings towards a love object that are largely based upon fantasy and idealization (instead of experience). Often when partners get to know each other, infatuation diminishes.

Romantic Love: An abiding love for a partner with whom you feel passion, attraction, caring and respect.

Eros: a passionate love usually involving sexual feelings for a love interest.

Companionate Love: feelings of warmth towards a friend with whom you love to spend time with.

Unconditional Love: A type of affection and caring that is so strong that you feel it consistently, regardless of what that other person does.

Conditional Love: A love that requires specific action or conditions in order to be maintained. For example, at its extreme, a parent who gives very conditional love would only love his child when he gets straight A’s, becomes a surgeon and has two children. The love is based on outside conditions and when they do not occur, the love is withdrawn.

Puppy Love: A childish, innocent temporary crush on someone that you don’t know well.

Maternal Love: This term usually connotes love that is nurturing, accepting and protective. In actuality this love can also be given by a father etc.

Paternal Love: This term connotes love that involves guidance and some authority. Paternal love usually prepares a child to be ready for the outside world. Again, in reality this type of love is not gender specific.

Soulmate Love: This type of love is described as a love that has survived multiple life times. Not everyone believes in this concept.

Spiritual/Divine Love: This type of love recognizes the Divine light in everyone and everything. Love is given to everyone as an act of loving God.

Love of your country or patriotism: This is love for the place you live or the place that were born. It is a type of loyalty and a special feeling of belonging that you attribute to that specific geographic location.

Self-Love: This is a positive feeling that you have about who you are and what you deserve. It often is expressed by treating yourself well, respecting yourself, wanting yourself to be happy and expecting others to respect you too.

Brotherly Love: This term connotes having a feeling of love for your neighbor, because all humanity is considered to be part of a larger family of human beings.

Tough Love: This term is used to describe a love that is expressed by setting boundaries for the good of the other person. So for example, a parent may send their teenager to rehab if he is drug addicted, even if he does not want to go. They feel that this is an act of love because it stems from a desire for their son’s ultimate good and happiness. This type of love is described as a love that has survived multiple life times. Not everyone believes in this concept.

What kind of love does your heart possess?

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

500 Days of Summer

Tom: Look, we don't have to put a label on it. That's fine. I get it. But, you know, I just... I need some consistency.
Summer: I know.
Tom: I need to know that you're not gonna wake up in the morning and feel differently.
Summer: And I can't give you that. Nobody can.

I finally got to watch this movie, which I've been trying to see ever since it came out this past summer I believe. It was such a cute, quirky film. Maybe there's a reason that happened because I definitely was able to fully relate to Tom and his character.

I cried. I had to. It left me feeling undisclosed and sad. I don't wanna spoil the movie for those of you who might read this and may not have seen the movie before. However, I will say that it is amazing how much our expectations differ from the reality of things. It's amazing how different things are in our minds in contrast to things that physically happen, especially when talking about two different people. There is not one person who will have the same exact perspective as another, yet we still find a way to connect and feel.

I don't wanna say too much more about the movie, but I will say that I appreciated watching it. I needed to watch it, relate to it, and somehow manage to learn from it. I definitely recommend it with two thumbs up!

The hardest thing to accept sometimes is the truth.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010


They say I talk a lot, and I have to admit I do. Although there are times when I don't feel like talking or find the need to because I'm not comfortable. But the times that I do talk, please believe that passion drives the speech, and that my words AREN'T just words.

I'm currently angry. Angry at this system trained to make us believe that it is there to enhance our knowledge and establish a successful future for us. FUCK THAT BULLSHIT! How are you gonna tell me that I'll be successful when I can't even pass a fucking midterm despite going to class every time, reading the textbook, and doing the problems, as well as studying four straight days prior to the exam? Naw, see you want me to believe that I can excel in this institution when it is made to bring me down to crash and burn. FUCK THAT! and FUCK YOU!

You don't give a shit about me. NO matter how much I try, it is never enough. Never good enough, never enough for you. I work hard like you said I should so I can climb up, but every single time I put an effort forward, I get pushed down into the mud, left with my own tears and my own strength to pull me back up...

But that's just it right there, sometimes I don't have enough strength to pull me back up completely. So FUCK YOU! I shouldn't give a shit about you anymore seeing as to how many times you've put me down. I try and try and TRY but it's never good enough. I'm never good enough. FUCK YOU.

...& I'm not just talking about the educational system now either. Fuck you for not caring for and about me.

LOL :)

AHAHAHAHAHS literally LMAO when I saw this. Thanks to thisismycool. Homie, this literally MADE my day especially after talking about this damned school system.

J U L I E A N N E is my name.

Jump through your comfort zone.
Unleash your strengths.
Laugh. Love. Learn to let go.
Ignite your passions.
Exercise daily. Eat fresh foods.
Accept your reality.
Never give up on what you want.
Never give up on what you want.
Exercise daily. Eat fresh foods.

Hmmm, interesting acronym for my name. I like how the "N" is repeated, that way it's emphasized that I should "Never give up on what [I] want" yay for that! Ironically enough, the "E" is repeated too, but that one is harder to do than what I'm willing to put forth the effort LOL.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Raw emotions.

Why do things seem so difficult when all I'm trying to do is be better? Be better for myself. Be better for my family. Be better for those who love me. Be better for those I love.

I'm trying so hard to stay positive and stay strong but it seems like when I get through one obstacle, another one starts crashing down on me or right in front of my face.

See, I wouldn't even care as much if things were just happening to me, but it's not that. Things aren't going so well with my sister, my brother, or my parents. Things aren't going well for my friends. And things aren't going well for myself.

I just want to be happy. I just want them all to be happy. I just wanna be there for them, and carry the burdens for them, and my heart cries every single time my mind gets to drifting to the problems that surround me, and the problems that surround my family. I know it doesn't directly affect me, and I know they don't wanna pull me into their issues because I got my own, but damn, I'm still heavily affected, and what's even worse is that I can't do anything about it.

I want everything to be alright with my family. I want my sister to get along with my brother. I want my parents to understand my sister. I want my sister to not feel as if she's not an important part of the family, and I don't want her to feel like she doesn't care about my brother and my parents.

On top of that, I still have these bills to worry about. I still have to worry about how my parents are gonna be able to afford sending me and my sister off to college next year. I don't get financial aid as it is, and with both of us going to school next year, I really don't know how possible it will be.

With that said, I don't even know how much more I can take of this science bullshit they are trying to feed me in this campus. I know I want to be a doctor and I want to help myself and my family get better, as well as help others with their needs, but how the fuck am I supposed to do that when I can barely pass a general chemistry class because UCSD has made it clear that it doesn't want me to succeed in that "weeder" class??!

I'm so sick and tired of always having to be the patient one. I'm so sic and tired of always having something wrong, and even the times when I try to be positive, something else pops up that ruins everything and makes it worse. I don't give a fuck what anybody else says. You have your struggles and I have mine. You could have had the same one or even face something worse but you will never experience the same damn thing I'm experiencing now because this is my life and that is yours.

I'm in love with someone who is not the one for me right now. My heart is so capable of unconditionally loving but it continues to hurt because I just want him to be happy and I know that it can't come from me. But even if it can't I still wish him well and wish him the best because he deserves to. But sometimes, I just wanna say Fuck THIS niceness of mine. It still hurts so badly. I don't think it'll ever compare to anything but I ask God for strength and I continue to pray for me, for him, and for His love to guide me.

My heart is so heavy. I just can't seem to win at all. I don't wanna be pessimistic. I don't wanna live with a sadness that bounds my spirit, but it's times like this when I feel like I can't take it anymore. I just wanna scream. I wanna cry. I wanna shout out how I feel to the people I feel them towards.

Every time I walk into a group, familiar or new, I feel like I don't belong. I feel unaccepted and I feel insecure because I feel like no one knows me. No one really knows who I am. Sometimes, I don't even know who I am either. I continue to have these ups and downs. Sometimes, I just feel like breaking down. But I'm afraid because most of the time, I feel like nobody is there to catch me. So I turn to God in tears, because my spirit begins to feel weak and my eyes begin to swell up with tears because my heart is so heavy.

I feel a burden of not knowing what's to come. I feel a sadness that lies within me because I feel like I can't do anything but hope and pray that one day, I will know.

Dear God,

If you can read this, I pray that you always stay by my side. If you can hear me, please watch over those I love, and I pray that I may be able to show them how much I love them because I try. I really try to please them and make them happy. I pray that you may guide me and steer me in the right direction because I don't know where to go. Please bless me with your strength to continue to hold on and fight because I want to love like you. And if ever a time comes when I feel lost and out f touch, may you take me in your hands and cradle me so that I can find a way.



I know it's only temporary, but it really is taking a toll on me. But I pray to God that it will soon pass, so that my heart can feel light again and my spirit can be renewed.

Dating Game

My homie's suggestion? "Random, but you should go on a date!"

Sounds like a great idea right? Right! & wrong at the same time.

Right because dates are fun and they're harmless, unless I end up going out with a psycho dude. Right because it'll get me away from school work and stress. Right because it'll take my mind off things.

Wrong for the same exact reason that it'll get my mind off things. I don't wanna use someone to do that. I wanna let that flow naturally BUT come to think of it, FRIENDS help me do that too...

So hey, why not? Find me someone attractive and carries good conversation with a touch of sense of humor and sarcasm, and I'm in.

Now, the only issue is...who's that man gonna be? Any takers?

Weekly Words of Wisdom

I went to mass this morning. I felt the need to thank the Lord for His wonderful blessings of love, faith, hope, and strength because this past week has tested my capacity for them, and I am glad to have them restored because of His grace.

So anyways, I was sitting, not really paying attention to the second reading, when something somehow caught my attention. Luckily it did, because I was about to hear one of the most inspiring passages on the Bible. The passage was from the First Letter of St. Paul to the Corinthians [1 Corinthians 12:31-13:13] and it went like this:

31But eagerly desire the greater gifts.
And now I will show you the most excellent way.

1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

I thought it was so ironic that this was the passage that I heard today because it was so appropriate to the emotions I had been associating with lately. I am surprising myself with my capability to love and embrace the kind of love that God wants us all to possess, and for that, I am grateful.

I'm learning that nothing can get in the way of genuine love especially when God is the center of it all. I know I'm not perfect. In fact, I still have things that I know I need to work on with myself [like stepping out of my comfort zone and not be so shy and appear "anti-social" at times] but I can do that all with Him.

I am empowered by His strength, bounded by His love, and saved by His grace. Every time I feel as if I can no longer go on, I simply talk to Him and ask for strength, and I feel renewed once again. I want to continue onto this path, His path, and His will. I want to continue to have faith, to have hope, and to have love like He taught me, and continues to teach me.