"Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man"

So my shawtayyy finally found the book I've heard about since hmmm, the beginning of 2009. She gave it to me earlier today, as well as my ring, as her birthday present for me. Yeah, sorry baby, you can't have me anymore, unfortunately, cuz I'm already taken ;) [jk babeeeeee! explanations come later] 

Anywhooo, so back to me reading this book right. I started reading and I found myself hooked on it, like not wanting to stop. If you know me, you'd know I absolutely detest reading so I was kinda shocked myself. But maybe I was hooked cuz I somehow was able to relate to the content and the information written by a man, as if I, myself, was directly getting the advice from one. Which kinda brings me to my other point...

I was going through my P.I.C.'s old blog entries from even before we met, and surprise surprise, she had similar if not identical thoughts on that four letter word. Yeah, I know we're friends for a reason but it's just pretty crazy to me how similar our views are when it comes to that department. I mean I haven't even met her yet she already shared these thoughts. Now, here's the entry I'm speaking of...[I know, I know...I swagga jacked you with a couple other entries, forgive me, but I'm tryna prove a point here]

when you two have the same amount of fun during the day as you do at night..

when chicken sandwiches bring you both immeasurable joy... && eating time turns into 'silent, happy time' (for like 10 minutes cuz you're both fatties)

when chillen becomes a full on activity, equipped with missions that always lead up to perfect sexxin...

when you're willing to try anything when you're together just cuz u don't want him/her to call u a weenie (except .... && that one bungee jump 'ride' at 6 flags)

when his ashy hands and her constantly shedding weave are considered a part of their everyday, charming swag && you start to look past it && stop offering lotion && combs...

when you threaten someone you've known for forever just cuz they're going a liiiittle too hard on them...

when you're both willing to bust SUPER thirsty missions and pay friends gas money that neither of you really have... just to see them

when your conversations flow so easily that you lose track of time (&& curfews... woops)

when you two can account for and tell stories from every level of friendship you've covered over a looooong ass period of time (with aim logs, insiders, pictures, voice-mails and emails to reinforce em)

when you're able to tease the other person because u know they can't live without you. :-]

when activities you usually do with that person become LACKLUSTER when you do them with someone else...

when they're your motivation for getting a car, finding a job, or begging for gas money everyday...

when spurts of jealousy arise cuz you know they're out with someone else.. && having fun that you're not responsible for...

when you can't sleep the night before you two have something semi-big planned...

when u call 911 for their dying asssss on a date night

when you go to the museum for em. (lmao oh, MOCA)

when you change the song in the car cuz you know they don't like it, but won't ever tell you cuz they know you love it :-]

when even though u say u never wanna talk to them again... you constantly check up on em on myspace, blogspot, or away msgs...

when their name in your phonebook changes every time some new insider pops up, or whenever they're acting like a dickhead (>:o)

when no matter how f.ckin mad you are at each other, you still listen to eeeeverything the other has to say to you, without interrupting...

when they still wanna be with you despite all the explicit, disrespectful things you've said to them...

when their tears make you cry...

when the biggest fuck-up occurs and you consider looking past it, despite knowing what the best solution is...

when they'll always have a place in your heart, no matter what

when you reflect on your past relationship... && smile instead of cry... && honestly hope the best for them, even though you're not a part of their life anymore

Most of those are on point, and ironically, she was referring to someone she was in (four-letter word) with...and frankly, I never thought about this, cuz I never felt that about anyone, so I wasn't bothered persay, I just kinda had it in the back of my mind and forgot about it...then I start reading this book, and then the same thought came back, and really, I'm not tryna think about it too much, honestly because I really don't know what to think about it...not in a bad way or anything like that either.

LOL, now I feel like this particular blog is pointless, but I'm simply writing my train of thought as I type. Not that I'm scared that someone might see it and bounce, or I'm scared of admitting that, no I just don't really know...oh heck, maybe I am a little. Well, I just know I have this person who unexpectedly came into my life, literally, walked right by me, and I didn't say anything, thinking what are the odds...and next thing you know, there he was, well still is...and I've never felt so appreciative for someone, other than my family, and every time, I feel more thankful to even have him still there everyday. 

I was only joking when I said you can't have me up there ^^^. I know he's said it before, but frankly, he has me at a place where no one's had me before. And it's not to put pressure on him, and add to his idea of that "99 to 1%" thing. It just feels good to have these feelings, even when I get frustrated or upset, for someone who I always want to be happy, because just being him makes me happy, and as much as possible be there for. It's not hard to explain, I'd rather keep the other solid things to myself. I know one thing is certain, I [   .] you.

Simpin ass muhfuckahhh...wtf J?! Hmm, not simpin, just being honest.

***Engaged.

["I Wanna Be" by Avant started playing on iTunes...ironically.]