I got it!

This past Wednesday, I auditioned for a play that the Filipino organization on my campus is putting up. A friend, who happened to be one of the play's script writer came to me and asked me to audition. I was a bit hesitate at first, but I thought, "Why not?" so I did.

I was supposed to recite a monologue or a poem for the audition, and seeing as how it was a last minute kind of thing, I just decided to do this piece I performed for the Students of Color Conference. It went a little something like this:

I hold a lot of anger, sorrow, and discomfort inside my heart because I am meant to be a. symbol of strength. One who will shoulder the emotional and mental burdens of those who constantly remind her of the hardships she has to go through. And these become tied together into a knot that holds me down and keeps me imprisoned, apart from the imprisonment society has already bestowed upon my ambuity, when I am asked, "Are you Mexican? Are you Black?" I'm not black. I'm not mexican. But when people think of me as someone else, it's like society doesn't seem to recognize my people's struggle because there was no civil rights mvmt because of slavery but my people were enslaved too! We don't have the same struggle but my people were enslaved too. In fact, I still feel enslaved by the nonsense psychobabble as to why there aren't more people like me I can connect to and turn to. No offense to other races because they are all bold and beautiful, but it's like ur stripping me naked of my culture and my stuggles with that one simple question. I am ambiguous. I have many identities.I am a woman. A woman of color. A Filipina, symbol of strength. Ako ay Filipino, simbolo ng lakas!

I was SO not prepared and kinda embarrassed to say that I had to audition reading the piece off my Blackberry. They were all cool about it, and I managed to still put as much passion behind the reading as I could. They asked me if it was okay if I could read a part from the script, and I was more than happy to do so, so they picked from two characters and finally decided on one.

I had to read for the character named Larissa. She's a 17 year old girl who held alot of resentment towards her father because she knew nothing about him and had no solid relationship with him since he had been deployed in the Navy ever since she was 8. The scene was with her homosexual best friend, who was still struggling with his own identity, who was listening to her recite her poem about how she felt about her father.

So anyways, I was home this weekend, and at midnight last night, I remembered that the final cast list was gonna be posted, so I toyed with the idea of looking it up just to see who made it, and there it was: "Larissa- Julieanne Aquino"! I was soooo psyched and got super excited.

Yeah I know it's a small production but it still means alot to me that I was able to get a part. I've been thinking about theater and the possibility of minoring in it because I find it so incredibly fascinating. The idea of being able to play another person, and literally putting myself in another's shoes is just so inspiring to me.

I think my fascination was ignited when I was helping someone with their take home midterm last school year, and it happened to be about ancient drama and the differences in each ancient culture's take on theater.

I mean I had always toyed with the idea of being an actress and learning more about theater. I remember, I was in a few plays back in the Philippines in elementary school, and I remember being sick with a fever, but I knew how much I wanted to play the antagonistic step mother that I strolled onto the stage, burning up. I even remember the specific scene.

I was wearing a granny dress and my hair was in a bun, which my grandma did for me since my mom was in Japan working, and she just so happened to be there visiting from the "States". My drama teacher put on my stage make up for me and the powder on my hair to make me look like an old lady [LOL]. And in that particular scene I vividly remember, I was talking to my stepdaughter and I was being mean to her, telling her she could not see her real mother because she had to stay home and clean, and then I to pinched her nose cuz she started crying!

IDK, maybe it's just another phase, or maybe it's just because I've been so involved in the sciences and math that I need a way to express myself differently, but I definitely feel like theater is a great way to find myself, especially because I will be able to somehow relate to the character I'm playing. It will help me since I wanna explore new territories, things out of my comfort zone, and I'm just really glad they chose me to play a role. I hope I don't disappoint :)