Friday, July 24, 2009

Dad

My dad always seems to lecture me when I do something wrong. And that used to piss me off and irritate me even more...but this time, he starts to lecture me when I'm tryna watch TV.

I'm watching 16 and Pregnant and he starts talking about how hard it is to raise a family and have a child at any age if you don't have money, especially harder at a young age. Talking about how they didn't think and that I should be smart so it doesn't happen to me.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate ALL the wisdom and advice he passes down to me, but sometimes, I'd rather just watch TV. Not to simply watch it, but I feel like when he lectures me, it causes me to overthink and worry about my family and what we go through. 

It seems like every night, I think about it because he or someone would remind me of how hard we have it going now, and I understand that, believe me I know because I think and feel it everyday. That's why I try not to think about it as much, but things like this remind me and it makes me feel weaker.

He tells me to be strong, to be wise, and to be smart and I appreciate it all, but sometimes I just wanna scream and say, "Dad, I know this already!" Because I wanna experience things for myself and because I don't agree with every aspect of his opinion. 

I feel rude and bad for even writing this but that's how I feel. But I know I'm a better person for the things  he tells me. I just wish that wasn't the only time we are able to talk.




***7/23/09

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