Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Doesn't Mean Anything

unless I can live my life with love and passion. Not just one or the other...not just love, because I can love but without passion, it cannot and will not last. Not just passion, because if I live without passion, there will be motivation to keep me going. This goes along with the people who are in my life as well. I don't fuck with people who don't have love & passion in their own life. So here's a song I'd like to discuss and incorporate my own ideas and thoughts into it.




I'd rather be a poor woman living on the street,
No food to eat
cause I dont want no pie if I have to cry
cause its over
When you said goodbye



I don't think any material things can outweigh having someone and people in your life who you truly care about and equally care about you as well. I really don't know how and what else to add to that line because I strongly believe that money is not important. Yeah, I mean I like having the comfort in knowing that I will eat three times a day, but at the same time, I know how it's like to have to constantly worry about money because my parents have thought me to be conscious and wise. But my dad also taught me that money is nothing if you're using it for the good of yourself and making people happy...and I thank him for that because it has taught me not to be enslaved by money and material things. I still have to worry about it now, especially since I'm in college with alot of expenses but I don't mind sacrificing little luxuries such as eating out and shopping because I'm doing it with and for people who mean the most, even more than money ever will, to me. Like Albert Einstein once said, "Everything that can be counted does not necessarily count; everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted."



I know I pushed you away
What can I do that would save our love
Take these material things
They don't mean nothing
Its you that I want


I realized today that I'm very prideful...either that or I'm just really very stubborn, or a combination of both. I think I've known that for a while, I just finally had the courage to admit it to myself. I realized that once I have my mind set on something, it's really hard for me to think of it otherwise. For example, if I feel like someone is doing me wrong caused by my over thinking mind and overworked thoughts, I'd start to act differently from what my heart would tell me and I'd go against my own instincts. And when that happens, I sometimes either push people away or force things out of them when all I want is to keep them in my life. I don't know what it is, but to me, I feel like I have to act as if I don't care to put up as a front so I don't get hurt if they do the same to me, except, it makes it worse when they don't see past the front and leave. Instead of just telling them how I felt to begin with, I cause the gap to widen and in the end, I always want to take back what I said and did, and to fix things- make it like it was before.  It messes with my head when things aren't the same even when things are the same- the same wonderful thing- just in a different form and I fail to see the beauty in that change so I ignore it and become pessimistic and moody about it. But like Maya Angelou said, "We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty."



All at once

I had it all

But it doesn't mean anything

Now that you're gone

From above,

Seems I had it all

But it doesn't mean anything

Since you're gone




I love that this is the chorus of the song because it continues to repeat and it helps remind me that there are relationships that are so fragile. As I've grown up and matured from the different people I've encountered, I always try to absorb the good things they bring to the table and carry it with me to share with the next people I meet. The main thing I've learned is that letting go is not a sign of weakness; it's a sign of strength. I often think that I have to hold on to something that was once good, and when things go bad, I'd wanna hold on a little longer thinking that it will be better. I also tend to always control the situation so I don't get hurt or hurt anyone else and in doing so, I end up thinking too much. However, I learned the importance of realizing the good in what is on front of me. Not only that, I also realized that it's important to see that what's in front of me is a form of goodness as long as I can see the positive side of it instead of focusing on the negative one. I should see the good in front of me, but I don't look hard enough because my thoughts overshadow it. I know it gets tough for me at times but this song lead me to grasp that there are relationships we are not able to save from breaking, but those that still stand are there for a good purpose. Their purpose is to keep us grounded and humbled to understand that we are blessed enough to be surrounded by such amazing people. "Love it the way it is and flow." 



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