Why are you so PARANOID?

I think I have a problem with my body. No, not the kinda problem that requires psychological and mental rehab cuz I like my body just the way it is thanks. I'm talking about health-wise.

My stomach has been acting up for a few days now and I thought it was just cuz I ate some kinda bad food. But then today, I was surprised by this visitor who had already came when it was supposed tom which was two weeks ago. YOU ARE ONLY SUPPOSED TO COME VISIT ONCE A MONTH FUCKER! Then my chest starts hurting and my upper back starts hurting. I start feeling weak and tired and my body starts aching. ALL as a result of me being paranoid that "I might get sick" and here I am, starting to fall with symptoms because shit I guess MIND OVER MATTER does really work!

So I called my sister who is just recovering from a cold. She's doing better now and she told me not to worry so much because I'll just hype myself up when I don't even really have symptoms and what not. That kinda made me feel a lil better but I'm still trippen. So she told me to go to the campus health center and I said ok...then we hang up.

Five minutes later, she calls me back and says "Oh man, I forgot to tell you...my friend just died." *heart sinks* She explained to me how he was in the hospital with the flu, not even the swine flu, and was in the hospital for 3 weeks. They had to perform surgery on him twice, had a stroke, and then...they pulled the plug. They pulled the plug...on a 17 year old high school senior who was about to graduate in a few more months. 

Thoughts started rushing to my head like a concussion. One thing I thought about was "What if I have those same things and these pesky little symptoms leads to something lethal like that and I die tomorrow?" But even worse, what if that was my sister or my brother, or my parents, or any one of my good friends? I wouldn't even know what to do. I wouldn't know how to react. Will I cry? Will I be quiet? Will I...? So many questions...so many thoughts. Thoughts that I forget and ignore because I think that they will always be there...that I will always be there...that tomorrow will always be there...BUT IT'S NOT.

So think of the people who you fail to talk to everyday for one reason or another. Think of the people you care about, the people whose lives are valuable enough to you that you'd sacrifice anything for them. Think of them and think of you. What would you do if something like that happened? What will you do now...now that they are still there with you?

Just something to think about.