Saturday, July 10, 2010

Eventful & life-changing

I've been learning alot lately. About myself. About life. And just about being.

I've learned that settling with always give you a feeling of unsettlement and never fulfill any dreams, as grand and positive as the outlook may be.
I've learned that making decisions are crucial to the consequences that I have to face in life, and they have to be well-thought out to the tee prior to the actual process of making one.
I've learned that I have much more strength and courage within myself, and far more lessons to be learned, more tears to cry- whether good or bad- and more times to tell myself "I told you so" before i can honestly say that I am even near that almost perfect I aim to be.
With that said, I learned that I can never get to some things I aim to achieve because it is damn near impossible to do so without consent of both parties and God.
I learned that I had to lose myself so that I can learn to appreciate who and what I have, so I can love myself and everyone better.
I learned that I am capable of being loved and I deserved to be loved, and that I shouldn't hold back when I feel love towards someone because fear is not good enough of an excuse to lose someone who means the world to me.
I learned that I can be happy after making a not-so-easy and heartbreaking decision, if and when it is done for the better.
I've learned not to blame myself for such things that I have no control over, and that I should just let things be because I cannot control everything, not even what does and will happen to me.
I've learned to smile and find the benefit of every situation, or try to at least, instead of moping and looking into the bad aspects of it because that is easier of an excuse to be miserable, and an even worse excuse to stay down on my own.
With that said, I've learned that I should treat and reward myself for days when I find myself smiling and laughing alot because I know that those days do not come all the time, especially in certain times, so I learn to appreciate them more so I can have more of them to cherish.
With that said also, I've learned that no one can control how I feel, despite their acts of kindness or cruelty. I can only control how I react to them and the situation. I can choose to let it go or linger...either way, I make my own decisions, therefore I cause my own emotions. It just so happened that people and their actions may trigger such things.
I've learned that I am a very emotional person. I liked to hide my feelings, but I'm learning to own up to them and accept them for what they are. After all, if I can't even accept my own feelings, then how do I expect anyone else to?
I've learned that certain things cannot be left out to do for another day when they spring up on you. Some things, I just cannot procrastinate with because it keeps me from progressing.
I've learned to lean not on my own understanding because I will never and should never expect to understand everything I encounter. I learned to have a better relationship with my mother and God, and I hope to expand that to a relationship with my dad as well soon.
I've learned that I am a lover, who gives all for those I love, without any regrets...just hopes.
I learned that I continue to learn something new everyday.
I learned my self-worth, therefore I respect myself more, and love myself more because if I can't then no one else will. Because God loves me and bore me with love.

Today was definitely a wonderful day filled with great things.

Took my brother to the petshop to get turtles and fish.
Bought a black forest cake for Mom & Dad.
Bough Popeye's chicken for lunch.
Ate lunch with brother and his girl.
Saw Costa Rica thru The Hills with sissy.
Went to Party City to get birthday balloons and ended up with Disney lanyards too!
Dropped off balloons at home and wrote notes.
Went to the mall with bro, his gf, and sis.
Saw cuties at the new store.
Bought mom a present and shopped for me and sis.
Japanese dinner with the sibs.
Text from Dad that we got the new apt!
Rented a movie.
Ate bday cake.
Saw Justin (sorry for the hurry :/)
Dropped off Josh.
Finished the movie.
Listening to Lauryn Hill & writing :)

1 comment:

  1. COngrats on the new apt!!
    Continue learning about yourself. The best control you can have is over yourself. It is ultimately the only control you'll be the most proud of.